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thewonandonly · 1 year ago

Text

RETURN TO ME

PLAYLIST : spotify

PAIRING : thief!kang yeosang x news reporter!fem!reader

GENRE : thriller? fluff, smut, angst

WC : 14,374 words :3

WARNINGS : strong language, agro-hwa, aggression, graphic description of hostage situations/kidnapping, mention of bank heists/artifact theft, mention of firearms, absolute chaos from ateez as a heist group, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal penitration, vouyerism/exhabitionism, praise, pet names, cunnilingus, no happy ending, its giving mama im in love with a criminal tbh

AUTHOR'S NOTE : it's finally done! i've been writing this fic for OVER a year, ever since guerilla came out 😰 i hope you all enjoy and jsyk, this fic is heavily, heavily, inspired by "love letter from thief x".

Becoming a news reporter wasn't your first option. You originally wanted to write news articles for your local paper, something close to home, but it turned out that your local paper hired another much more qualified person. So, you used your degree in journalism for field reporting.

Your first story was about a cold case being reopened, and you would've loved to do your own research on the topic, however, the teleprompter read everything for you, telling you what to say, what to do and how to do what they tell you to do. You seriously did not have any freedom. You were about ready to go on sabbatical and open a gossip blog like Perez Hilton. Then, maybe you'll finally be able to get the freedom you'd like to report how you'd like. Or, maybe you'd even put the degree you got for investigative journalism, something you think would be extremely enjoyable to you and your wallet.

But, you didn't start hating your job at the beginning. No, because it was helpful to have a teleprompter in front of you, telling you what to say while the ring light blinded you. No, it wasn't because of that. It was because you were currently trapped in a hostage situation, the news broadcast now hijacked by the criminals in this entire scheme.

It was a classic museum robbery, and you wouldn't say you were excited to cover it, but it was different from what stories you would normally cover. It had the potential danger in it all.

But the second your cameraman and producer cut the cameras to take a break, you were left alone to your own devices until you were going to be called in again by your co-workers in the studio.

You pulled out your phone, scrolling through social media timelines, reading the other news sources that popped up about the situation.

The microphone you held, that did little to nothing when you spoke into it on camera, was suddenly dropped as you were pulled from where you were standing, a hand over your mouth and another arm around your waist, lugging you away like a piece of cargo.

How was no one noticing this, you questioned. The cameras were rolling for different news broadcasts, and yet no one gave any mind to the sound of your heels scraping against the gravel road, leaving white marks from the top piece on the bottom of your heel.

You practically screamed from behind the hand against your mouth, but the sound of all the chaos from newscasters, sirens that echoed against the buildings silenced your screams.

All the self-defense you've learned for this moment, that you pleaded never happened, seemed to disappear from your head. And you were nearly incapacitated, anyhow. The last you saw of the outside was where your team sat, and the microphone discarded on the ground, your phone right next to it with a shattered screen.

The captor pulled you around the back of the building, another holding the door open for them.

They all wore masks, some you've seen at Halloween stores. Some of them you haven't seen available anywhere. You could only assume that this has been planned years before it happened.

Shutting the door at the back of the building, the man released you before another took over and tied your arms behind your back, and sat you down to bind your legs.

"I'm sorry." The person tying you whispered, "For what it's worth."

"It isn't worth jack shit." You grumbled, moving around in the restraints, trying to get him to mess up even a little bit.

The other cleared his throat, "Come in, Base, it's me." He mumbled through the mask.

You immediately assumed that this was a much more complex plan, looking as he communicated to "Base".

"You read me?" He paused, "Newscaster is secured. Video's free to run."

"Y/N, uh... Come in." Your coworker spoke through the in-ear you had, and you nearly shook. There was no way you could respond unless you were left by yourself. "Y/N, come in." Their voice got a bit more stern, a bit more deeper.

There was a loud ringing playing over the in-ear and you jumped.

A voice full of static echoed, sounding distant but close at the same exact time, "This is an official notice. We, the group known by Kyomi, require the government release the Dream Texts to us, immediately." The video that played was a deep, almost god-like voice, similar to the voice configuration that Anonymous had used many, many times in the past, "The National Treasure Museum does not have rights to own the Dream Texts, nor does the government. They are to return them to their rightful owners. You have 24 hours."

Ringing played in your ear and you began to rub the in-ear across your shoulder trying to get it out from your ear, before it fell against the floor, the ringing echoing across the walls.

"Son of a..." The one tying you up glanced at the in-ear, looking at you before kicking it away, "What do you think you're doing?"

You struggled in the restrains, the rope digging into your skin.

"Wasp, we got a breach." He called to the other across from him, swinging the bolt rifle back to his hands, "She had an in-ear. They heard us."

The other turned to you, glaring at you through the mask, which made it 20 times more horrific, "Well, what are you waiting for? Break it." The one called Wasp spoke, squatting beside you, "Killer," He called over his own in-ear, "Shut it down."

You glared back at him, not at all deferred from your fear coursing through your veins.

There were so many other people that you weren't aware were in the next room, dealing with 4 others. Museum staff and guests visiting the 24/7 museum alike, all being threatened in front of the barrel of a gun.

And as soon as "Wasp" called to shut it down, it was all over in a second.

"Meet at the van. 10 minutes tops. Grab your shit, we're leaving."

Your brain immediately connected the dots that maybe this "Wasp" was the leader of the others, and you didn't think even a little bit that you would be going along with them until the one who tied you up in the rope swooped you over his shoulder, your legs kicking at his back.

"What about the newscaster, Wasp?"

"Bring her along, Hornet. Base is gonna need all the info we can get." He nodded to the entryway, and opened the door to the reception desk. "Sharp, let's go. We're out of time."

"Sharp" immediately stood up from his crouching position with his gun still aimed at any who threatened through the glass windows, "You go ahead. Killer and Spiral are in the next room with the hostages."

"Copy." Hornet responded, carrying you through the door, "Killer, Spiral, get anything gathered about the Dream Texts and head out."

The two across the room gathered backpacks and threw them over their shoulders, their rifles resting in their hands.

The other hostages huddled together, shaking in fear. And in contrast, you rested on Hornet's shoulder, watching them from the corner of your eye.

Wasp and Sharp entered through the door, a whistle escaping Wasp's lips, "Let's load up, Web is waiting for us." He lead the group to the van, "Hornet, drop the newscaster inside. You know the drill. Sharp, check for trackers. Spiral, swap out the plates."

Hornet nodded his head to the door as Killer opened it, plopping you inside, "Alright, miss, no need to worry."

You trembled like a leaf. You never, ever thought this would happen to you. You, who took kickboxing as an extracurricular in high school and actually passed the class as top student. You, who checked every glass window you passed by in your hometown. You, who was so kind but also knew how to set your boundaries. This couldn't be happening to you. There was no way. The one second you were distracted by your cellphone and it wasn't while you were working; much rather it was while you were on break.

The rope binding your arms behind your back was suddenly met with another rope through that one, and you had to convince yourself that this wasn't some messed up shibari sex cult. Inappropriate thoughts aside, Hornet tied a blindfold around your eyes, covering any light that might've flooded in from the dingy alleyway that the Kyomi group stood in, watching as Hornet finished restraining you and depriving you of your senses.

There was a faint beeping that echoed in and out your ear. "Can's clear, Wasp." Sharp called.

"Good. Let's head out." He climbed into the van, hitting the door to the others, "Up and at 'em, boys."

"Jesus Christ, this mask is fucking annoying." A voice called and you heard the horrendous sound of latex rubbing against one another.

Another shouted, "Dude, you're all good to take the mask off!"

"I already did, asshole!"

You wiggled around, trying to grab even the slightest bit of attention, but they all seemed too busy talking to one another to notice you using your shoulder to move the bandana up just a little to see out of the bottom.

A voice sighed, "Come on, you two. Relax. We're not out of the woods just yet."

The other voice laughed, almost high pitched, "He's just so fucking ugly. I can't help it."

There was the brief sound of pushing and shoving, before a deep and stern, "Hey!" echoed through the car, "If Web gets into a crash and we get caught because of you two, it's over."

A tongue clicked, "Yeah, listen to Wasp. He can't afford to go back to jail, guys."

"You're one to talk, Yunho!"

"All of you just shut the fuck up." The voice boomed, and you almost flinched back into the car, feeling like you yourself was the one getting scolded, even though you were the most quiet out of the others, aside from Web.

You took this moment to actually lean your head back, and angle your eyes downward, catching the briefest glance among the group.

Three sat across from you, their masks still covering their face as they leaned against the empty van, guns resting at their side. The other two sat with their backs against the driver and passenger seats, next to the other group. Aside from the one directly in front of you, you were by yourself.

One of them cleared their throat, breaking the silence, "So, what's with the newscaster? Why'd we take her?"

"Information." That was the voice. The voice you could recognize as Wasp.

The other sighed, "Where are we gonna keep her?"

"Base can take care of her." It was short, simple, but definitely not sweet. He was the leader, he was the one that told the other's where to go.

The brief sounds of sirens were what pulled your attention from leaning your head back. And the sound only made you more agitated. I'm in here, you wanted to call. And how you pleaded you have superhuman strength to break out from your ties, break the door and crawl into the street.

The car ride was long. Extremely long and painful. You could feel your bottom going numb, and the rope digging into your arms. You were sure that you had a rope burn from it. The blindfold getting all the more irritating. But, they didn't seem to notice that the bandana was even lifted a little bit, or how you would glance at them from underneath it. They were comfortable with each other, all joking around, almost as if they didn't hold an entire museum heist just a few hours ago. Their masks were off, the weapons and items they were able to grab from the museum in the middle of the van.

Wasp slumped forward, his arms folded across his stomach as he slept.

And when the van stopped, you nearly shook. The rain pattered on the concrete.

"We're here." Web, the one driving called, putting the car in park.

The others sighed, standing up and stretching, climbing out the van, "Shit," one of them yawned.

"Come on, Wasp. Let's get you inside." One of them shook him by his shoulders.

Wasp looked up and took a single glance outside and was already on his feet, "Alright, grab the things. Web has to get this back to the rental company. Base already changed the plates and VIN for it."

"Copy that." They all began to pick up an item; at least one gun as well, and opened the back door to the van.

Wasp began to untie the rope through the one rubbing into your arms and lifted you over his shoulder. He kept a strong arm over your waist and walked around to the driver side. "Web, pass me the dash cam card."

Web immediately reached toward the device and pulled out the card, "Got the replacement one?"

Wasp rummaged in his pocket, "Here. Base got still footage while we were setting up." Passing the card to Web, he nodded to him, "Get back safe."

"I always do." He shrugged before driving off.

Wasp sighed, looking up at the sky as the rain fell into his face, "God, I hate rain."

You wanted to make a stupid pun about wasps and their aggression, but your throat was so dry, you believed even speaking a little bit would cause your trachea to crack.

The mud gushed around his feet as he walked and opened the door to what you assumed was their base.

"Welcome back, Seonghwa." A soft voice mumbled, "Who's this you have with you?"

"Newscaster." He dropped you down onto a couch and pulled the blindfold from your eyes.

It took a moment before your eyes could adjust to the dim lighting, and you felt 8 different pairs of eyes on you. The ones you saw in the museum had their masks either in their hand or on top of their heads. It was hard to believe that these people were so ready to show their faces to you.

And the two you haven't had the pleasure — you use that loosely — to meet yet, sat across from you, large computer monitors on top of two separate desks that looked just a little too large for the room, watching your every move.

Your breath began to quicken, your lungs beginning to constrict on every other breath. It didn't begin to hit you that you were obviously very much kidnapped, until you began to look around for any hint that maybe this was all big nightmare.

Wasp, or now known as Seonghwa, bent at the waist and looked into your eyes, "Tell us what you know."

You've seen movies like this; the main character ends up kidnapped for knowing too much and when asked for the information they know, they always respond with the stupid words of "where am i?"

But honestly, you didn't really care where you were, you just wanted to get home. You wanted to lay in your bed and cuddle up in your covers.

"Just about as much as everyone." You mumbled, shrinking under Seonghwa's stone cold glare, "I know that you want the Dream Texts, and I know that your groups name is Kyomi, and that there's 8 of you, only 6 of you going out on missions." You looked up at the man in front of you, shifting uncomfortably, "And I know that you don't kill."

The blonde male in the chair nodded, "She's good." He chuckled, pointing at you, "You actually know a lot more than others."

"I spend a lot of time reading about you guys." You mumbled.

Seonghwa clicked his tongue, "All that information is on the internet?" He turned to the others, "Yeosang, do something about this."

The blonde male in the chair spun around and began to type quickly on the keyboard.

You could only watch and listen, feeling uncomfortable as another member sat beside you and placed his arm around the top of the couch.

"Yeosang's our eyes." The other member whispered, "And the other one is Mingi, he does all background work for us."

Mingi waved sweetly, in contrast with the dim lighting of the room.

"Okay..." Yeosang mumbled, "Well, there are other news sources giving background to the group but it doesn't look like they know anything about us, personally." He rubbed his bottom lip, "There's not much to do aside from let the tabloids run their crazy little course and let them speculate."

Seonghwa clicked his tongue, "Son of a bitch," He pushed his hair back and sighed, "Yeosang, keep an eye on those articles and make sure that anything slightly close to our personal lives gets taken down."

"Aye, aye, sir." Yeosang nodded.

You briefly made eye contact with Yeosang, before looking down at your lap, "Do you think I'll be able to go home soon?"

Seonghwa looked at you like you were crazy, "You think you'll be able to go home now? You've seen our faces, you know how we sound."

The realization hit you all too late. There was no way you were going to be able to go home after everything you've been through. Like Seonghwa said, you've seen their faces. You've heard their voices. They had no collateral to the fact that you wouldn't say a word. And they definitely weren't going to risk some feisty newscaster giving away what they were doing anytime soon.

"You're right." You chuckled softly, "God, I'm such an idiot." You weren't generally speaking about your current situation, more rather this whole evening. You were distracted, you were caught unawares. And now, you were trapped in a situation that you didn't ask to be in.

"Wooyoung, San, get her something more comfortable than those ropes." Yeosang called, and the member that sat next to you and the other across the room stood up and wandered off to the back of the shack... house, whatever it was.

Seonghwa looked around, "What are we gonna do with her?"

Yeosang shrugged, his demeanor almost changing in that instant, "I'm not the one who brought her here."

You furrowed your brows, "You guys don't even know what to do with me and still brought me here?"

A brown haired member with a gentle smile and soft eyes chuckled, "Seonghwa didn't think it all the way through."

"Shut up, Yunho!" The latter scolded, "So, who's gonna give up their bed?"

"Definitely not me." A shorter male shook his head, "My back's still messed up from that heist in the city."

"That's always your excuse, Hongjoong." Yunho rolled his eyes, "I can't give up my bed because I made the perfect ass dent to fit me."

"That leaves Wooyoung, San, Jongho, Mingi,"

"Just let her sleep down here." Yeosang shrugged, "I'll be down here most of the time anyhow."

"Dude, you get zero sleep." Mingi chuckled, shutting off his computer, "Speaking of, I'm gonna head up now. Great job today, guys. G'night."

San and Wooyoung immediately came strolling down the stairs, a pair of silver cuffs in their hands, "Found something!"

"Give them here." Seonghwa called, holding his hand out, using his fingers to motion them towards him. And one of them placed the cuffs in his hand, "Keep her down."

The two hold your shoulders against the couch cushions as Seonghwa used a pocket knife he pulled from his pocket to cut through the rope, forcing your arms to the side and locked the cuff around your left wrist, and the other cuff around the arm of the couch.

Sure, it felt better that you were out of that rope, but with the pinching cuff around your wrist, it made it almost worse.

You sighed, rolling your wrist around, as you finally had circulation returned to your wrist.

Seonghwa sighed, "There." He grabbed the two spare keys and tossed them to the other at the end of the desk, "Keep an eye on her."

You could feel your hand go numb as the blood began to rush back to your fingers, "This is not ideal, but it's better than how it was." You mumbled to yourself, using your thumb to crack your stiff fingers.

Yeosang sighed, spinning around in the chair to continue using his computer, "So..." He whispered. "I know they said you're a news caster, but what station do you work for?" He asked softly, clicking on different links on his screen.

You cleared your throat, "I, uh, I work for STVU. I do field... field reporting." You swallowed roughly, feeling your throating drying up more as you spoke, “They decided it was easier-“

Yeosang chuckled, “All I needed to know was the station.” He pulled up the news website, playing back the live feed. “These your coworkers?” Yeosang motioned to the screen.

Nodding your head, you looked as they stood in silence and you could already imagine the teleprompter moving before their eyes, the producer nodding them to continue. You could imagine the shock from them calling on you, and finding your producer picking up your now shattered cell phone on the ground as the hostages continue to file out of the museum.

Yeosang tapped a pen on the desk, “Looks like the missed out on the money shot ‘cause you weren’t there.” He chuckled, exiting the full screen, “They really depend on people of your career.”

You coughed lightly, “So, what’s the point of keeping me here? If they depend on me so much, what’s the point?” Yeosang turned around in his seat, using his legs to roll over to you on the couch, “Because it gives us an upperhand.” He smiled, almost sinisterly, grabbing your free hand, “It gives us a huge hand. Return the Dream Texts to the most loyal group, Kyomi, or we kill off the newscaster.” He chuckled, looking up at you sitting on the couch, fear brushing your brows and forehead in the form of sweat, “But, you already know we don’t kill people.” He laughed, pushing across the floor back to his desk, “Or, do we?” He began to type on his computer, “I mean, if we did, it’s not like anyone would find out. We have this disposable land, buried under these old junker cars. If we did kill anyone, we’d bury them under those junkers and call it a day. And, the dead can’t speak.”

The way he spoke about it made you wonder, have they really never killed anyone? Have they really, honestly, never did what he spoke about?

Laying down on the couch to calm your anxiety never really helped; In your everyday life and in this situation now. Normally, you’d come home from work and eat, drink, and then lay down on the couch until you passed out from exhaustion, but here — here was so much different. You didn’t feel overworked, you didn’t feel tired even in the slightest, you weren’t hungry, you weren’t thirsty. You were just horrified. And uncomfortable. Your hand would normally meet your hair halfway through the night but with your hand chained up to couch arm, you couldn’t get comfortable. And the only way to get comfortable was to have your bone pressing against the bottom of the arm of the couch.

You just decided that staying awake for the rest of the night would be fine. After all, you did have a later broadcast time rather than waking up at the crack of dawn. So, staying up wasn’t immediately out of the question; in fact, it would’ve been the perfect option.

It was damn near the crack of dawn, and Mingi was right, Yeosang didn’t get any type of sleep. Not even a second of resting his eyes. He just sat in front of his computer screen, typing on his keyboard with a click from his mouse here and there. You wondered how he could do that, especially when you, personally, couldn’t sit at a desk for longer than 10 minutes before getting up and finding anything else in the world to do. You honestly didn’t know if he even got up and used the restroom, if he got something to snack on or to drink. He seemed completely entranced by his computer screen.

You assumed if you loved what you did that doing that type of work wasn’t as grueling.

With creaky steps, down came a lethargic and gloomy looking member of Kyomi, his blonde hair sticking up in every direction. He rubbed his chest from under his shirt, his sweats hanging around his waist, “Sang,” He called to the one sitting at the desk.

Yeosang only responded with an uninterested sound, typing something else into his computer, and a click from his mouse echoing around the two.

“Did you even get her anything to eat?” The other man asked, turning his eyes from you to the other in the chair.

“Jesus Christ, San, she’s not a fucking dog.” Yeosang scrolling down the page, “If she needed something to eat, she’d let me know. We’re like best friends, now, right, Newscaster?”

San looked back to you, rolling his eyes, “Are you hungry?” The fear overpowered San’s kindness, and you felt scared to even speak your mind. You were starving. You didn’t anything since before you went live on screen, and you had your entire menu for the week planned out. But, if he was offering to get you something to eat, you wouldn’t turn down the offer even if it killed you. So, ignoring every thought bubbling in your head like soda pop, you nodded.

San looked back to the one slumped over in his chair, scribbling down something on a notepad, “See? She was hungry.”

“Not my problem.” Yeosang shrugged, “Even if she was, it’s not like I had the key to unlock her.”

“Oh, shit.” San wandered back up the stairs, poking his head down momentarily, “Hold on, Newscaster, I’ll be right back!”

You sighed to yourself, sitting up in the couch, skillfully moving your arm around the arm of the chair to have it rest there comfortably. Sitting on the couch, confined to one spot brought back memories of your high school years, awkwardly sitting on your friends couch as they went to retrieve something from their bedroom, leaving you there to do nothing but play on the cheap cellphone your mother purchased for you. It felt exactly like that moment, with your “friend” across from you as they were comfortable in their room while you felt like you stuck out like a sore thumb.

San quickly hurried down the stairs, a key around his finger as he walked over to you, to unlock the cuff around your wrist.

This could’ve been your moment to pack up and run. This could’ve been your out. And you would’ve done it, if not for San locking the other open cuff around his wrist, smiling as he looked at you, “Now, you can get those legs moving.”

He locked the cuff around your wrist just as quickly as he unlocked it, making it known that he’s used them for something of this exact situation before. San helped you up off the couch and steadied your wobbly legs as you stood.

“Sang, I’m going to make breakfast, if you want any.”

Yeosang yawned as you walked past, the computer screen lighting up his features and the blonde hair covered up by a black beanie, “It’s fine. It’s about time I head to sleep anyhow.”

San scoffed, “I get that you’re our eyes through out the night, but you seriously need to fix that schedule of yours. You spend the whole night keeping tabs on tabloids and news broadcasts, but they never post during the middle of the night.” He scolded, with you standing there like a clueless bystander, which you were, but you had a bit of a better idea on what exactly Yeosang was keeping an eye out for.

“Heard it all before. You say that until STVU posts all of this Newscaster’s notes on us and suddenly we’re compromised.” Yeosang stood up, stretching his arms above his head, “With that being said, I’m heading up now.” He shut off his computer and wandered over to the stairs leading up to the mysterious upper floor, “G’night, San. See you later, Newscaster.”

You lifted your free hand in a silent attempt to bid him a goodnight, or good morning in this case, and looked at San.

“He’s a trip.” San sighed, leading your cuffed hand behind his into the rickety old kitchen, “What are you hungry for?” “Um,” You shrugged, “Anything, really. I could eat anything.”

San lead you over to the foldable kitchen table that was enough to fit two, and unlocked your cuff, almost forcing your hand against the brace of the table as he locked you in, “Sorry, safety measures. You understand, right?” He smiled at you as he kneeled down to unlock his cuff, shaking his hand, “I’ve only had mine on for a couple minutes. How did you wear that for so long?”

You shrugged, looking around the kitchen for any type of impossible escape. It was in this moment you realized just how tired, panicked, and anxious you were. The late night shift was hitting you a bit too hard now, the drowsiness infecting your eyes like a sickness. You were worried for the next person to walk down the stairs, what they'd say or do. And you were anxious for your day's beginning behind these walls. Should you be worried about what they'd do to you, or should you just stick out the days and hope with enough time, you'd be let back into the world and live your days like they were your last?

Everything in the kitchen of this shack they inhabited was rundown. There was a vent with no cover, the floorboards squeaked with every step San took across the room, and if you moved your own feet enough, you could feel the splinters covering the floor. The appliances and cupboards looked like ones they found in the junkyard just outside their front door, although you had to admit, the repair on the appliances were like no other, giving a clean finish with a bit of damage here and there. Whereas, you could not say the same for the cupboards which looked like they were living on their last leg of life; cracked wood, rusted hinges, and some even missing half, or a whole door.

San pulled open the fridge and pulled out a carton of milk, then opened the cupboard and pulled out a sack of flour, and a pan, “Do you like pancakes?” He asked, sickly sweet that made your tummy hurt.

You turned your eyes to him, nodding.

San smiled, grabbing the pancake mix from the cupboard as well, making his way to the stove to turn it on, “So,” He started, “I know you’re a newscaster, but other than that, I know nothing about you.” He looked back to you, “Tell me about yourself.”

You shrugged, “Um, well, My name’s Y/N, I’m in my 20’s.” You shrugged again, realizing now that sharing your life story to an unknown stranger who also happened to kidnap you and used you as an advantage hostage for the government to give them what they want. “What is it exactly you guys want?” You asked hesitantly, scared to have touched a nerve.

“The Dream Texts.”

‘Which are?” You made a face, and turned your palms upwards, shrugging.

“Which are-“

“Which are none of your business.” Another voice echoed, and you turned around to find a groggy Seonghwa, glaring at you from across the table, “That information is classified for Kyomi, only.” He leaned against the table, “If your view on us changes, maybe you’ll find out.”

“Hwa,” San started, flipping a pancake onto the pan, “Come on.”

“What?” Hwa immediately began to push away from the table, and sized up the other male across from him, although they were practically the same height.

San gripped the pan’s handle, “Think about it. If she’s gonna be here for as long as we’re hoping, she should get to know us. Us, personally, and us as an organization.”

Seonghwa stepped closer, glaring at him, “And why would you do that? You’re willing to lay everything on the line for a snake to share it with everyone she’s knows, if she ever does get out.” Seonghwa had San practically up against the wall of their kitchen in the shack, and San’s knuckles went white as his grip tightened on the handle.

“You really don’t want to me to hurt you.”

“Like you’d ever hurt me.” Seonghwa chuckled, his tongue poking his cheek, “If you even move so much as an inch-“

The chair to the table across from you was pulled out, and you pulled your eyes from the fight, to find Yeosang sitting there, yawning, “They’re fighting again.” He sighed, leaning on his hand.

“Do…” You paused, “Do they always fight like this?”

Yeosang moved his hand side to side, “Sometimes. It’s always something stupid.” He complained.

You looked at Yeosang just for a moment, the side of his face all too familiar for only being in this place for a few hours, his birthmark decorating the side of his face. His hair was mussed in all different directions, and there were purple bags under his eyes, possibly from his insane sleep schedule.

You looked back to the two across the room, Seonghwa holding San by his shirt against the wall as the latter tried his best to swing the hot pan across Seonghwa's head, the perfectly cooked pancake laying on the floor, now broken into pieces.

"Oh, my pancake." You whispered under your breath, sighing, placing your hand against your belly as it grumbled.

Yeosang sighed, standing up from the table, "Alright, you two." He wandered between the two, opening the fridge, "What happened?" He pulled out a wrapped bowl of what looked like macaroni and cheese, using a spoon discarded in the strainer and then ate the food cold, not bothering to step out of the duo's way.

The two immediately began to go on a ramble, San pointing the end of the frying pan at Seonghwa's face, and Seonghwa keeping San pinned against the wall. Yeosang looked between the two, absorbing all the information as if he was in a comedy show, shoveling another spoonful of macaroni and cheese into his mouth.

And as the two men threatening to bite each other's heads off settled down, Yeosang turned to set the bowl beside him, "Now, doesn't this all seem silly?" He asked sarcastically, a smile crossing his lips.

San and Seonghwa continued to glare at each other, releasing each other from their grasp, just as the other members joined to watch the drama unfold in the doorway of the kitchen. Hongjoong sat at the chair across from you, and the others peeking in.

Yeosang patted both their backs, "Okay, good. Let's continue planning our next move." He nodded, picking up the bowl and wandered out to the living room, the sound of a gentle clatter from his spoon hitting the bowl as he set it down to get into his chair comfortably. "Mingi, pull up the National Bank."

Mingi yawned, "It's too early for this." He rubbed his eyes, but nevertheless, sat down at his computer and typed in the National Bank of South Korea, "There."

From being attached to the collapsable table, and with the room being empty, you listened as closely as you could to what exactly they were planning. You heard a voice here and there asking questions before Yeosang took over, "The National Bank has a piece of the Dream Texts, and I know where it's hiding." He chuckled darkly.

You already saw the perfect opportunity to get your ass away from here; in front of you, sat a shoddy door, with a lace curtain that must've been pinned up in an attempt to make it look not so bad. It was only a mile from you, at least it felt like it, when it was only a couple steps ahead. And you would've taken it, if it wasn't for the giant, grey collapsable table you were currently handcuffed to. You would've ran out the door, screaming your head off about the horrendous situation you found yourself trapped in to anyone who would listen. You had an idea to even carry the table on your back almost like you were Sisyphean rolling the boulder up the hill, for all eternity.

San's voice cut through the air, "Y/N?" He called, peeking into the kitchen, his voice recognizable enough to cut your thousand-yard-stare in half, "You okay?" He asked gently, looking at your eye's connecting to the door.

You turned to look at him, your eyes delayed like your mouse as work with the horrendous input delay, "I'm okay." You nodded to him, even willing him to accept it with a gentle smile.

"Well, alright." San nodded back, "If you need anything, we'll be in here." He smiled, dragging his feet across the floor and sitting on the couch as Yeosang continued.

In a perfect world, they would've recruited you into their ranks, having you join in on the meeting about what came next, allowing you to go to and from as you please, make your own food. And overall, have you free of the pinching cuffs and let you exist as yourself.

"Seonghwa, Wooyoung, and Yunho, you two will enter from the top window, using the special forces gear we got from Jongho's truck run." Yeosang held the pen cap in his lips, as he pulled out the printed blueprint from his printer next to his desk, "That way we can get an upper hand for the Dream Texts. You three will check the top floor while the rest of you, hold the bottom floor."

"It'll just be me and Joong." San pointed his finger at them both, "We can't possibly hold an entire floor by ourselves. I mean, it took Wooyoung, Yunho, Joong and I to just barely keep the floor of the museum clear."

Yeosang smiled a bit more sinisterly, "You're all forgetting one valuable hand in all of this." He cackles.

"I hate when he does this."

How, was all you could ask yourself. How is it possible to be in this situation again? The cramped van, the uncomfortable ropes and the barrel of the pistol pressed against your temple. And it happened to be the only nice member holding it there. You were blindfolded, and you wouldn't be surprised if you were dead already. This all had to be some type of nightmare.

Despite being the very valuable part of this plan to get into the bank, you were the one that was once again at the end of the barrel. When you learned that you'd once again be placed in that terrifying position of playing a hostage, Yeosang spoke with almost a chuckle, almost like he liked seeing someone under duress. As well as the others.

All this for some stupid writing? All this for Dream Texts. It was hard to believe you'd be forced to stay with them.

Jongho, who you learned was Web, after connecting the dots, was driving around the city in a car that was a little too small for the group. You were aware of all the codenames at this point. Wasp was Seonghwa, Hornet was San, Killer was Hongjoong, Sharp, Wooyoung. Spiral, Yunho. And Base was Yeosang and Mingi.

You knew their plan, and their means of getting to the oh-so desired Dream Texts, which you still had no idea what it was about or why it was so important to them. The only thing you could think of was National Treasure, the Nicholas Cage movie, which was, in it's entirety, about a treasure map on the back of an official government document. Maybe that's why they want it so bad, you thought, for money and fame.

Jongho stopped, dropping off the five in front of the National Bank, one you attended since you began your adult life. It had a bittersweet nostalgia, the building. It was where your family was charged foreclosure. It was where you cashed your first check after a successful month of your career. It was where you paid the down payment for your family's new house, after living with family for years.

Some would say you had a humble upbringing; learning the importance of money and paying dues where it's needed. You would say you had a difficult life. Getting a job as soon as you could, paying for your own high school expenses, and funding your own college education and tuition. You were constantly stressed out, and even now, with a steady job, you were considered a workaholic, but who could blame you? Cause and effect is what you normally pushed it off with.

Seonghwa, Yunho and Wooyoung split off from San, who gripped your arm tightly, and Hongjoong. They all had their weapons around their shoulders and masks that covered their faces, that you weren't even aware they had put on. The masks were different from what you had first seen, this time, they all donned balaclavas, unlike the clown masks you've seen them in previously.

You were still blindfolded, a sound of a shattering glass echoing through the sky, San tugging you along into the building.

You were aware that you, in this situation, were a hostage again. You weren't sure if this is where you died, or if they'd take you with them again. So, you tried to settle the pit that lingered in your stomach as San shoved you onto the floor, a ray of bullets echoing through the air and a loud yell of "get down!" interrupting the fire.

You felt that anxiety and impending doom creep into your chest again, your brain shifting gears back into fight or flight. After all, you were nothing but an accessory for them to use. Your life, to them, had no meaning. They could preach that they don't kill all they would like, but they would actually have to take responsibility for their actions of causing psychological damage to others.

Hongjoong cleared his throat, raising his voice, "We are Kyomi! We require the Dream Texts. Who here is the bank manager?"

A woman shakily raised her hand, and looked around anxiously.

Hongjoong motioned for her to approach, and when she was close enough, Hongjoong gripped her arm and looked her in the face, "Open the safe, and don't try anything funny." He whispered.

You used the linoleum floor to push the blindfold from your face, catching sight of Seonghwa and Yunho standing on the second floor, their guns positioned at the back of the victims. It almost looked like they were ready to shoot.

Hongjoong lead the bank manager around to the safe at the back of the building, where she opened it with shaky hands. Then a shot was rung out.

The desk someone sat at was completely destroyed, the sight of Seonghwa glaring through his balaclava.

"Every one of you to the center floor now!" Seonghwa shouted, and people began to shuffle towards yourself and San. From the position Seonghwa was in, it was obvious he could see the entire floor.

Hongjoong returned with the bank manager, a plastic wrap tucked into the vest he wore. "That wasn't so hard, was it? And no one got injured." He chuckled, returning the bank manager to the group that sat on the ground floor.

Hongjoong spoke clearly, "Secured. Web, whenever you're ready." His hands rested on the gun, and looked into the faces of the victims; some were teary eyed, some were angry and some were avoiding their eyes.

You looked into the eyes of one, sympathizing as their eyes watered in terror.

This. This was your out.

You opened your mouth as San began speaking, and didn't mutter a word; just mouthed it. Using your eyes to motion them to look at Hongjoong, you mouthed the instructions. And they only furrowed their brows, shaking their head, scared of even the possibility of getting injured.

If anyone was going to be able to end this, it had to be someone who could fight back. And there was more than enough to take the fight between the four invaders. If they had the possibility of saving everyone, even yourself, they should take it. They would be reveled as heroes; people who saved the hostages of the National Bank. But, no one would take the risk. They all had families, friends. People they loved. Creatures they loved. They wouldn't risk it.

If you were to be the one to sacrifice, they would do it. Because the blood staining their hands wasn't as bad as leaving the ones they loved.

You assumed Jongho must've responded to Hongjoong's call. San was quick to pick you up off the floor by your restrained arms and drag you out of the building. You looked around for any type of exit to get away from them. Standing around was just as bad as doing what they were. But, once again, like every chance before, they had nearly every corner blocked off. Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Yunho were walking from the back of the building around the corner and Hongjoong opened the door for us all, before you got thrown in the back just like before.

You anxiously watched the hostage all relax, and you begged, pleaded for a way to feel that comfort, of being able to relax. Not constantly feeling like you were under watch by these monsters. Jongho drove off as everyone sat in their seats, taking the initiative to drive away from the building, and as you drove off, you saw the police round the corner, and everyone filed out, some falling to their knees from fear.

You wished to feel their fear. And the rush of being alive after a five minute standoff with five villains. You were oddly surprised that you could feel fear this intensely through your bones, despite being with them for a day.

"Now, you're one of us." Wooyoung chuckled.

You looked at him, your brows furrowed, "What?"

Seonghwa turned from the front seat, looking at you, "You've committed as much a crime as we had."

"Again, what?" Your teeth grit, "I was kidnapped. I was held hostage." You pointed out the obvious, looking between the men in the car, "I was an unfortunate victim in this whole situation!"

San chuckled softly, "Aiding a criminal in a crime is just as bad as doing the crime." You could already hear the condescending high pitched voice he spoke with before the words even left his lips. "You're just as guilty as we are."

"I. Was. Kidnapped." You emphasized, "By you! Those people you all just traumatized, are not the only victims."

Seonghwa waved his hand, turning back to the front, "Someone blindfold her again. And gag her. She's getting annoying."

"You're no better." Jongho mumbled, his hand tightening on the steering wheel, "We still have a few miles to go."

Jongho easily turned into another lane, leaning on his hand as he drove.

Seonghwa looked back at the others, "Well? Are any of you gonna do it?"

San sighed, "Yeosang said not too!"

You completely forgot that they had in-ears wrapped around the shell of their ears, all communicating between one another. You felt out of the loop; what exactly did Yeosang say not to do? What were they communicating between each other?

Seonghwa sighed deeply, obviously annoyed as he pulled out a single of his own in-ear, and motioned to you.

Seonghwa wrapped it around your ear for you, slowly pushing it into your ear.

"Go, for Base." Seonghwa called.

Yeosang cleared his throat, "Y/N? Are you there?"

You nodded, before realizing that he couldn't hear you, which you choked out a "yes" in a small, shy voice.

"If you look out onto the road, you'll see the route back to the dump." He spoke simply, "Because of this, we have no other reason than to recruit you." His voice was filled by the keys of his keyboard, "You'll either have to pledge loyalty, or we have no other option then to keep you hostage. And, possibly kill you."

"You don't kill people." You shot back, looking at the road in front of you.

Yeosang chuckled. The clicking of the keyboard stopped, a gentle creak from his chair echoing, "We unfortunately have to finish off the ones we try to recruit that don't agree. Just a little Kyomi group secret."

The list of charges they could catch just add up; armed robbery, kidnapping, assault and battery, and murder. You had the benefit of doubt that they didn't kill, and Yeosang obviously had a heavy heart telling you what exactly they did.

"So," Yeosang chuckled, "What'll it be? Be part of Kyomi, or meet the sweet embrace of your own inevitable destiny?"

You sighed; It was a lose-lose situation. Either commit crimes and the possibility of life in prison, or die? If you had another option, you'd take that in a heartbeat. Being a housekeeper, being an informant for the group, or just going home, would have sufficed.

But, obviously, they cared too much about their pride to let you off the hook so easily. They cared too much about those Dream Texts that you still have no clue what they were about. They cared too much about their own safety to risk sending you off in the world.

You clenched your fist, "How do you know that I'm not in connection with the police? What if I let you all take me hostage?"

"Because you aren't that smart." Yeosang whispered, his voice tickling the inside of your ear, "L/N Y/N, graduated from SKU with a degree in journalism, which is surprising, since you only had a 2.8 GPA throughout your school career." His voice twinged with amusement. "You spend majority of your money at the convenience store and on bills. You live in an apartment complex, although I won't share the address, I know where it's located. Your social security number is—"

"Okay, okay." You stopped him, "Okay, fine. I get it." Your lips trembled as you spoke, "I'll... I'll join Kyomi."

Yeosang chuckled, "I knew you'd choose the right choice." You could hear the smile in his voice. "But, for the time being, you'll have to keep being restrained, for the safety of my comrades."

You wanted to curse at him, and let all of your aggression out on him. If they really thought they were gonna get away with this, they were sorely mistaken.

You would find a way to report them, and you would finally be free of the wack jobs that thought it would be a good idea to kidnap you.

It's been two months since Yeosang thought it was a good idea to have you join Kyomi. And it absolutely was not. Your plan to get out of there as quick as you could wasn't working as well as you hoped, but, everyday, you spent your hours looking for a way to leave, to report what exactly happened to you.

Your face would briefly show up on the news every now and again, with your family begging for you to find your way home, as if the police force haven't already ruled you out as presumed dead.

The last everyone saw of you was at the National Bank, where you were pulled away by the rope tied behind your back. You still feel the rope around your wrists every now and again, waking up from nightmares, hoping it was all a joke that you were put in this position.

Nevertheless, you pretended to be on their side. Seonghwa has lightened up to you, and will even indulge about San and Wooyoung's ridiculous behavior. Mingi was back in the game, having you taking over his spot as resident hacker of the group. Those coding classes would've done you well, if you had any idea this is what you'd be doing. Yet, it seems like every time you touched a keyboard, your mind blanks on why exactly you agreed to do this.

Yeosang has everything blocked on your computer, which you believed he put on as soon as Mingi said he'd want to join the guys on their heists.

You've been given a new identity, essentially. They didn't call you "newscaster", they called you "Centipede," which you wholeheartedly believed was Yeosang's idea, after he shared his disgust to centipedes after. You and the arthropods.

You wore an in-ear, just like Yeosang did, and talked with the guys while they were out, and it still hits the ear wrong when they call you the name. Like they were taunting you.

Aside from the new, definitely underpaying job and the new name, you could not even begin to describe the bedding situation. You shared a bed with 7 others; all guys. You were, rightfully so, tense every time you walked in after a shower to grab a fresh pair of clothes. The beds were lumpy and you slept on the bottom bunk, shared with Seonghwa at the top, who slept like a rock, but was surprisingly easy to wake up when it was needed. A slight tap on the shoulder and he was awake. You didn't understand that when you were first nabbed by them, when he was sleeping in the van. Not to mention, he slept max four hours. Wooyoung and Yunho had a bad snoring problem, so you could rarely get any sleep through the two months, but now, unfortunately, you were growing accustomed to it. It was like white noise. And you didn't even want to start with the splinters you received on the first night; bad mistake not thinking to borrow someone's slippers.

Hongjoong, Mingi and San were light sleepers. You'd shift in your bed across the room, and the three of them were already staring at you, like you were in the wrong. San slept with stuffed animals, which was entirely uncharacteristic of the Hornet you met the first time you were brought there.

Everyone of them were uncharacteristically what you thought; Seonghwa was actually a sweetheart when he wasn't under pressure; he enjoyed building legos, and had the ones he built sitting in the shared window the two of you had. San was an animal lover, and you had to turn away multiple strays he brought back to the shack. Mingi was quiet. He had a bunch of interests that you really couldn't keep track of. Yunho was like a giant puppy. A single bit of praise and his invisible tail was wagging like he had happy tail. Hongjoong was much more serious than the others, despite his first introduction. Wooyoung was more or less the same, but when he wanted to be, he was much too serious than what you were used to. You were used to his boisterous laugh that echoed through the house, yet he gets pulled out into the field and he changes demeanor completely. Jongho wasn't fond of praise and gratitude, in fact, he spent most of his time waiting for the guys to finish up the heists by driving around, listening to girl groups.

The only one you could never really understand was Yeosang. He seemed much like the same as when you first met and saw him. Bags under his eyes from staring at a screen all night and all day, disheveled hair and kept to himself. You both never slept at the same time. He was the eye in the sky, and the security. He slept around the time all of you woke up, yet, he was up and at 'em not even an hour or two after he slept. Now that you think about it, there was only eight beds available in the barracks, as you like to call them, and you were the eighth. It made you think about where exactly Yeosang would sleep, and you began to wonder if he took your place on the couch to rest or if he stole someone else's bed to sleep in.

This morning started like any other; restless, tired and exhausted, and you were aware that all the words you were repeating to yourself had the same meaning, but that only emphasized your point that you were so exhausted, you couldn't think of anything else.

Yunho and Wooyoung were snoring so much that night, you thought they might've caught a cold from the way they sounded. Maybe that's why Wooyoung was so goofy with you, the lack of oxygen to his brain during sleep.

Hongjoong woke up and wandered over to you, nudging you slightly, and you turned to look at him. "Holy shit," he began, "I think you're beginning to spend a bit too much time with Yeosang." His finger went under his eye and began to swipe there back and forth.

You sighed, sitting up, "It's not that. They never shut up." You whispered to him, pointing at the two chronic sleep apnea patients, "I'm so tired." The exhaustion was beginning to catch up to you, and you rubbed your eyes.

Hongjoong smiled softly, "Well, today's a rest day while Jongho tries to find a new car for us to use the plates you found yesterday. Take the day to yourself."

You sighed, nodding lightly.

Normally, taking a rest day back in your normal life, you would have went out shopping and went to visit friends and family. Now, all you had to yourself was a walk around the junkyard, occasionally ending it earlier than you would have liked to due to a pest running rampant through the disgusting, rusted cars and whatever trash was left in there.

And that was definitely not going to cut it.

"I'll make some breakfast. Eat, then come back up to rest." Hongjoong basically planned your entire day for you. All you wanted to do was sleep the day away, which is something you've done a lot on rest days.

Hongjoong wandered around the corner to get downstairs and you laid back on the lumpy bed, your head meeting the pillow in a short second. The snoring seemed like it was getting louder by the second, and you were too exhausted to even move to cover your ears.

You shifted positions to face towards the empty bunk Hongjoong left, wrapping the weighted blanket around your body, and burrowing your nose into the soft fabric, sighing as you felt your tension melt away.

If you were home in your apartment, you wouldn't have had this issue. You wouldn't have to try almost anything to fall asleep. Hell, you wouldn't have even woken up. Tale has it, you were a heavy sleeper before you were brought here.

Shutting your eyes and hoping for the embrace of sleep to take you over, you sighed just as the steps creaked. Opening your eyes was already too much of a labor, so you just covered yourself more with the blanket.

A sigh exited from someone's lips, the floorboards creaking as they walked over towards the bottom bunk bed and laid back. Wooyoung was directly above them, as they laid in Hongjoong's empty bunk.

"Shut up." A kick was met to Wooyoung's stomach from underneath, right underneath the bed slats. "Get a mask." They scolded.

Opening your eyes, the exhaustion was already setting again, squinting as you looked across the short distance.

Yeosang laid on the bed, the shadow under his eyes already looking worse for wear. His shirt was discarded on the floor, and his sweatpants were below his hips. He covered his face with his forearm, sighing as his body relaxed.

Okay, so Yeosang was attractive. That much was obvious. And, what's the worse that could happen? He breaks your heart because he's too focused on Kyomi? Or, he doesn't see you the same way because he works too close to you?

You blinked as you watched his body relax, his free hand resting on his belly, his fingers brushing the waistband of the grey sweatpants.

The last two months were long. Tiring, even. But, just like you would do in high school, you'd take extra care into your appearance, even if it meant you got a second longer of a look from someone.

"Stop staring at me."

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the harsh call, feeling your ears bleed red.

Yeosang moved the arm over his eyes and faced you, his hair falling in front of his eyes.

"Sorry." You mumbled, "I was spacing out."

Yeosang chuckled, "You're an idiot."

The jab was meant to be cruel, but you could see the sparkle in his eyes, and the smile that crossed his lips, and oh, my god, did you hear that laugh? The way he spoke, even if it was meant to be cruel was so soft, and you know it's just how he is; his care and warmth are there, despite the harsh words that bite at you.

You rolled your eyes, curling your legs under the blanket, "Are you going to sleep now?"

Yeosang shook his head, "I never really sleep much when I get up here." He mumbled, studying the slats as if there was something there, "Wooyoung and Yunho snore too loud."

You laughed softly, "Tell me about it."

Yeosang smiled softly, closing his eyes briefly, "I wonder if it's even worth sleeping in here."

Shaking your head, you smiled gently, "It's not." It was simple, shortcut. "I haven't gotten a good night's rest since I've been given this bunk."

Yeosang's face relaxed, turning his head back to you, "Can I ask you a question?" His voice was like shoes dragging through gravel, and his eyes stared at you intently. You couldn't help but nod. "Why did you agree to stay? And why haven't you even tried to leave yet?"

"Oh, my god, you mean I could've went home?" You asked sarcastically, your eyes playfully widened. But, you saw the look in his eyes and decided that maybe it was time you opened up to him. It was your turn to sigh, turning to look up at the slats that held Seonghwa's bed, "My life was going nowhere in the job I was in." You spoke simply, "I didn't even want to work for a big news station like that. I would've rather have worked back in my hometown, but, someone got the job I wanted."

Yeosang looked at your profile, his eyes scanning the way your nose was, the curve of your lips and the long eyelashes you had. He's worked beside you for two months, and he never noticed just how enticing you were. Your eyes turned to his, his heart nearly beating out of his chest.

"Besides," you started, "My family never really checked up on me." Shrugging, you got all the more comfortable, "Everything we see on the news feels a bit fake anyhow."

Yeosang couldn't really recall his family life before Kyomi and the Dream Texts.

"We've given you so many opportunities." Yeosang whispers.

You chuckled, "Did you really though?" You asked softly, "The last two months, I'm scared to even try to sleep."

Yeosang shook his head, "You didn't have to be scared." He mumbled, "We've always given you an option."

His eyes were shining, the sun hitting his brow bone to give you a better look at the honey eyes he had.

"Well, I'm here now." You responded, his eyes completely captivating his beauty.

Yeosang and you held the eye contact, not saying another word to one another. Wooyoung and Yunho's snoring filled the air between you two.

Tension, heat and pressure surrounded you both, before Yeosang scooted himself off the bed and wandered over to you, climbing on top of you over the blanket and leaned his face close to yours.

"Do you feel it too?" He whispered, his lips only inches apart from yours.

A breath was caught in your throat, and you swallowed roughly. You assumed he was talking about the sudden tension that covered you both, and you agreed. You did feel it. It loomed over your head, every so often. Now, during missions, after missions.

"You do feel it." Yeosang smirked, leaning forward to encapsulating your lips with his own.

The dream you've had every night about him was coming true. Yeosang had a sweet tooth, the citric acid from Sour Punch Straws he frequently ate echoed against your lips. His long hair practically covered his eyes as the strands brushed your cheeks. His hands were hot against yours as he intertwined your fingers with his own. His weight was distributed evenly on top of you, basically pinning you down to the bed.

Yeosang pulled his lips away from yours, his face still centimeters from yours, "I've been wanting to do that since you took over Mingi's desk."

You blushed, feeling the blood rush through your neck up to your ears.

Yeosang's hand gently cupped your cheek, rubbing your skin with his calloused thumb, "Tell me if you want me to stop."

His lips met your neck, his tongue gently running along the skin, his hand hot against your cheek. His lips left wet kisses against you, and when a gasp escaped on a certain spot, they turned up into a smile, gently biting the skin with his teeth.

His lips, his lips, his lips, it was all you could think about as they moved from your neck, down your chest, stopping just at your belly button, placing gentle kisses on the skin and rubs your thighs with his hands.

You were so nervous, you honestly couldn't remember the last time you got laid, let alone by someone you work with. If you remembered correctly, it was a year or so-

Yeosang had pulled your shorts off, along with your panties, smiling softly, "Look at you, kitten. Aren't you so pretty?"

God, you thought, When he calls me that, it makes me want to scream.

His smirk only grew wider, "Do you want to continue?"

You nodded your head vigorously, already sure that you would have given yourself whiplash, "Please."

Yeosang settled in between your legs on his stomach, throwing your legs over his shoulders and held your thighs in place with his hands.

His hands were strong, and veiny. They were warm around your thighs, compared to the cold chill in the air. His callused hands were rough against your soft skin, his tongue a nice heat against your mound.

Your hand shot to grab at his hair as he sucked on your clit, a soft moan escaping your lips.

"Shh, baby, you don't wanna wake up the others, right?"

It was impossibly hard to think of keeping your moans back, since Yeosang was making you feel so good.

Yeosang continued his pace, his tongue dipping down in between your folds, working his fingers against your clit.

The thought of waking up the others from their slumber excited you, and almost made you infinitely more comfortable with the idea.

Yeosang kept his eyes trained on you as your chest rises and falls, watching how each movement of his tongue affected you. And when you began to groan, your legs shaking, Yeosang knew just how well of a job he was doing.

"Sang..." You whimpered, thighs threatening to squeeze against his head.

Yeosang chuckled, using his thumb to pull the hood of your clit back to teasingly bite at it, lifting his head as you let out a loud yelp. He glanced around the room, hearing an interruption of Yunho's snore before he began once again, "Come on, kitty cat, can't you try to keep quiet?" He sat up, positioning himself between your legs, his buldge pressing against your heat, the sweats he wore staining with the wetness from your cunt.

"Sang..." Your voice was strained, looking up at him with begging eyes, "Fuck..."

"Can't get the words out?" Yeosang smiled, leaning forward as he laid on his arms on either side of your head, "Come here, baby." He whispered, pressing a deep kiss against your lips, one of his hands running through your hair just as the other tugged his sweats down, the tip of his cock pressing against your entrance, "Is this okay?" He gasped softly.

You nodded, "Yes, yes... More than okay."

Yeosang smiled softly, capturing your lips once more as he slowly pressed into you, the heat from the stretch as you grew accustomed to the size of his cock was painful, yet pleasurable. "Fuck, you're so tight, baby." He bottomed out, holding you close to him as he slowly moved his hips against your own. He chuckled as a loud moan escaped your lips, using the hand that tangled in your hair to cover your mouth, "Shh, shh, angel." He cooed softly as his thrusts grew faster, looking between the two of you where you were both connected.

Yeosang's cock twitched against your walls, listening to your groans and smiling as he felt you clench around him.

"Y/N!" a voice called up the stairs, and Yeosang and you both shared a look. "Hey, Y/N, are you still awake?"

Yeosang adjusted your position so you both laid on your side, pulling the blanket over his head, looking up at you, "Pretend to be asleep." He whispered, his cock continuing to press into you. "And keep quiet."

You furrowed your brows, looking down at him before Hongjoong stepped up the stairs. Yeosang's hips continued to roll against yours, and you felt a soft whine about to escape your lips.

"Hey, Y/N." Hongjoong approached the bed and despite your best efforts, you screwed your eyes shut, and buried your face in the pillow. Yeosang moved slow, pressing soft and silent kisses against your sternum. "Y/N, food's ready."

Your ears were bright red, the soft sounds of your wet cunt echoed against the walls. Or were you just toning out Yunho and Wooyoung's snoring?

Hongjoong called your name one last time before he found his way back down the stairs. As if on cue, Yeosang peeked his head out from under the blanket, chuckling softly, "Good girl." He whispered, grasping your hips tightly in his hands, "You're just a good girl." Yeosang thrusted deep into you, "Gonna cum for me?" His thumb rubbed at your clit, his voice gruff and strained as he laughed at your convulsing.

"Mmhmm." You whined out, gasping as his thumb continued his assault.

"Cum for me, kitty." He whispered, moaning out as he felt his own climax quickly approaching, "Fuck, you feel so good."

As your cum dripped from your cunt, Yeosang was quick enough to pull out from your entrance, his cum coating your lower half, his gasps turning into panting as his cock twitched in his hand.

Yeosang chuckled breathlessly, leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead, "Fuck, baby." He smiled, holding your ankles gently to move your legs from around his hips, "I knew you'd feel good."

The action you both committed finally began to register in your brain. With 4 of the other members of the Kyomi group in the room. You quickly reached your hands up to hide your face, chuckling softly, "I can't believe we just did that." You whispered out.

"I can't believe we did that with the guys in here." He smiled, pecking your cheek before he pulled up his sweats and stood from the bed, rising his arms to hold the side of the top bunk, looking down at you, "Wait here." Yeosang turned to the restroom, grabbing a wash cloth and sitting beside you on the bed, "It's gonna be cold." He warned, chuckling softly as he pressed the cloth against your mound.

You blushed softly as his gentle hands cleaned your skin of his climax, "Did you mean what you said?"

Yeosang looked up to look at you, "You know me better than that." He mumbled, "You know I'm not one to say anything if I don't mean it."

"So, you've really been thinking about this since I took over Mingi's desk?"

Yeosang smiled, "Actually, I've been thinking about it since you got your callsign." He folded up the cloth, setting it down on the window sill, "I didn't make it up for no reason."

You pulled your bottoms up your legs, laying on your side to look at him, his arm around your hip as he leaned on his hand, smiling at you, "I thought you hated centipedes?"

"Sure. But, it's just a callsign." He shrugged, "It doesn't mean anything." He used his other hand to cup your cheek.

"Okay, sure." You rolled your eyes, smiling at him, "You must've had a lot of fun when taunting me."

"Sure did. Why? You liked it?" He chuckled, pinching your cheek between his fingers.

"Maybe I did."

"Bet you did."

"Yeosang!" A voice shouted up the stairs, and Yeosang was quick to move from where he sat, rushing down the stairs.

You could feel your heart racing in your throat at the urgent call and was about to follow until Seonghwa quickly dropped down from his bunk, "Stay here, Centi." He patted your shoulder as he moved around the room, waking up the remaining members, who also were quick to stand up.

Wooyoung and Yunho, who were formally snoring, furrowed their brows as they stood up. San shot up at the sound of urgency in Seonghwa's voice.

"What's happening?" Your voice trembled, watching as the three men walked by, "Seonghwa, what's happening?"

Seonghwa almost made it past, before he sighed, "You wouldn't understand." He grumbled, "Just stay put." He continued down the stairs, skipping each step as he moved, "What's happening?"

The voices all blurred together, your feet slowly moving down the steps before you sat down just out of view.

"The cops are on their way." That was Hongjoong, "Mingi just confirmed with the scanner." You could hear the shaking of his voice.

"Jongho isn't back yet." Seonghwa glanced amongst them all, his arms crossed, "Meaning our means of leaving are pretty low."

"We could hide in the junkyard, couldn't we?" San whispered.

Seonghwa rubbed his temples, "That's fucking stupid, San."

"We have 30 minutes to either pack up and get out of here, or 30 minutes to find a way to stand our ground." Yeosang grumbled, the echo of the mouse clicking between them all.

Wooyoung stomped towards the steps, "Well what are we waiting for?"

Seonghwa sighed, "We'll never get anywhere in 30 minutes." He crossed his arms, "Packing up everything we need is too much of a hassle. Centi will never get far enough."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yeosang interjected.

"She's not exactly the most active person, Sang. Why do you think I stuck her with you?" Seonghwa bit back, "We'll have to find a way to get out of this."

"Oh, dude, I can't go to prison again." Yunho groaned, tangling his hands in his hair.

"Yeosang, Mingi, wipe everything from the PC's. Hongjoong, San, you two find somewhere to get rid of our weapons. Yunho, try to get an update on Jongho." Seonghwa's brows were pinched together, crossing his arms over his chest once more, "We're gonna have to find a way to make us seem like normal people."

Everyone was quick to do their assigned tasks while you sat there on the stairs, your eyes glancing at them all from the railing of the stairs. Seonghwa turned back to the stairs, looking at you with sharp eyes.

You've remembered that look. The same look he gave you when he first saw you at the museum, and you felt just as small now as you did back then.

Seonghwa gripped your hair, looking at you, "Let me figure out you had something to do with this, and I won't stop hunting you down for the rest of your life."

"Ow, Seonghwa..." You grumbled, trying to pull your hair from his hand, and sighed as soon as he let go, "I promise, I didn't have anything to do with this."

Seonghwa continued to walk up the stairs, his eyes stuck on you until he turned the corner into the room.

You glanced back over the railing, your eyes meeting Yeosang's. As if under a spell, you slowly began to move down the stairs to stand beside Yeosang, whose hand squeezed yours.

"I hope everything's okay." You whispered.

Yeosang smiled softly, "We'll be fine." His eyes focused on the screen, watching the recovery drive get moved to the USB plugged into the computer, "Not the first time this has happened."

Nodding your head, you moved to sit on the arm of his desk chair, his arm wrapping around his waist as he finished clicking his mouse.

Everyone was off doing what Seonghwa assigned them to do. San and Hongjoong returned from the junkyard covered in dirt, sweat rolling down their foreheads. Mingi and Yeosang both ran recovery drives through the computer before they both ripped apart the components and tossed them on their desks.

Seonghwa was stowed away upstairs and Yunho paced the front porch of the shack, the rain pattering atop the roof, a loud twang! echoing the room as the droplets rhythmically dripped into a steel bucket placed against the wall by the stairs.

"17 minutes out." Seonghwa called, tossing a backpack onto the couch; your couch that you were handcuffed to months ago.

You've grown to love the rundown shack; the leaky roof, the splintered floor, the creaky stairs. You thought you'd grow to hate the building, but... it grew on you like a rash.

Yeosang glanced up at you as you sat on the arm of his chair, "You should go change." He whispered to you softly.

You nodded your head, "Yeah. Yeah, I'll go change." You stood up and made your way up the stairs as if someone else was controlling you. Your shoulders slumped, your head hanging down between them. You pulled on the pants one leg at a time, your shirt over your head, a coat, thick socks and shoes.

"We can't bring her with us." You heard the voice, immediately recognizing it was Seonghwa.

Yeosang piped up, "And why not?"

"At the moment, she's one of the largest missing person's case in the country. If someone sees her with us," Seonghwa trailed off.

"We can't just leave her." Mingi mumbled, cursing to himself as a clatter dropped to the floor, "We're safer if we take her with us."

Seonghwa voice strained, "She won't say anything." He scoffed, "She's too afraid."

"She's coming with us." Your heart twanged as Yeosang's voice dropped, "End of discussion."

"Since when have you been one to make decisions?" The sound of Seonghwa's heavy boots bounced off the walls.

"Since you've grown more incompetent." Yeosang responded back, "She's coming with us."

You adjusted the jacket over your shoulders, staring at the backboard of the old closet, trying to make it seem like you weren't evasdropping at a time like this just as Yeosang reached over your shoulder to grab his own pair of clothes.

"You shouldn't be listening to that stuff." Yeosang leaned against the wall as he pulled on his clothing, moving some of his hair from his eyes, "You know Seonghwa's just being dramatic."

"I can't help it." You shrug, turning to look at him as he laced up the boots, "Yeosang."

"Hm?"

"What's supposed to happen?"

Yeosang paused from tying his shoe before he started once more, "Same thing that happens everytime we get caught up like this; run until we find somewhere to set base again." He mumbled, "Y/N, you know, if you do this..." He stood up, grabbing your hand in his own, squeezing it, "If you do this, you'll be just like us."

You furrow your brows, "Have I not always been like you guys?"

"Of course you have, but... this'll seal the deal. Before, you were just collateral, a hostage. But now, if you follow us down this path, you'll be a fugitive. You won't be able to go back."

You shrugged, "Well, I don't wanna go back."

"No," Yeosang chuckled bitterly, "No, you don't understand." He shook his head, "Think about it. Use the last..." He glanced at his bare wrist as if there was a watch there, but you knew he was counting down the seconds in his head, "15, 14 minutes of this time to really think."

He walked off, despite one of his boots not being tied through, not giving you a second glance.

You stood in the middle of the room, as everyone moved in and out, grabbing their items, their clothes, their prized possessions. Hongjoong was kind enough to pack up Jongho's belongings for him.

You spent that time really thinking like Yeosang said to. You thought about your life before these two months; it was bitter, it was bland and it was unexciting. But, here... with the boys, with Yeosang, it was everything you wished for. You didn't have to dress a certain way to work. You didn't have to pretend to like the people you worked with. You didn't have to pretend like everything was okay.

You moved your feet down the steps, seeing the 7 men who you have grown so accustomed to standing in a circle, glancing you up and down as you tightened the straps of the bag over your shoulders.

"What are you guys waiting for?" You mumbled, looking at them all as you approached the door.

And despite your excitement to pull open the door to the downpour, seeing eight to nine police cars skidding along the road with their lights flashing and sirens chirping was enough to have you withdraw your hand from the handle.

"Shit, they're here!" San shouted, looking out the windows to the front of the shack, "If we go out there..."

"Stop making a bad situation worse." Seonghwa bit, "They aren't gonna shoot on sight. They have too damn much to ask."

"What are we gonna do, Hwa?" Yunho asked.

Seonghwa pushed his way to the front, gently moving you aside as he slowly opened the door, his hands raised, "Don't shoot." He grumbled, lacing his fingers behind his head as he stepped down the shack's rickety steps.

The rain water pattered on his head, moving close enough to look down at the police.

"My name is Park Seonghwa." He shouted, "I'm 25 years old. I was born in Jinju. I have an older brother. My blood type is..." He was listing out random facts about himself, until an officer approached him and was quick to cuff him.

"They've got Wasp." Hongjoong dropped his items and went out into the rain, steam practically escaping his ears as he tried to intervene, only to be met with the butt of a gun and fall into the mud.

"Shit."

"Show yourselves." You recognized the man on the intercom. God, how could you forget? You've spoken to him so many times. The police chief of the National Police Force.

San was the first to lead the way out the door with his hands up, Mingi, then Yunho, then you, then Yeosang. Police officers began to surround the area, Seonghwa now being moved into the back of a police car, Hongjoong's unconscious body being placed in the back of the same one. One by one, they got handcuffed.

"Yeosang!" You shouted, ready to run to him before the police chief placed a heavy hand on your shoulder.

"Y/N..." Yeosang barely whispered over the rain, before he was shoved into the back of a police car, sat beside Yunho was looked like he was about ready to start kicking at the officers.

You gave one final panicked look at the Kyomi members in the back of the police cars; a calm and collected Seonghwa, an unconscious Hongjoong, a panicked San and Mingi, an angry Yunho. Yet, you couldn't read Yeosang. You never could.

You couldn't tell what he was thinking.

The police questioned you for hours about the last two months you spent with Kyomi, and you spent a lot of time with a hired therapist they said that brought in to help hostage victims. Your family were ecstatic to see you, nearly moved to tears at the sight of you wearing the black clothes, your shoes covered in mud and your hair stringy from the rain.

Despite answering their questions to the best of your ability without incriminating anybody, the entire time all you could think about was "Where's Yeosang? Is he in the station too?"

You were granted release from the station not long after being taken in, the blanket wrapped over your shoulders and holding the cup of coffee they offered you as they kicked you out like a newborn calf. You sniffled softly from the chill of the rain lingering in the air.

You glanced upwards, and your bottom lip trembled as you saw Jongho sitting there in a car, climbing inside beside him.

Neither of you shared words; Jongho wasn't one for that, but he did gently pat you on the head as soon as he turned the car on and began to drive off, the sound of 2NE1 filling the quiet space.

You never knew what happened to the boys. Jongho and you both tried to figure out what exactly happened but... there was never much about it on the news or anywhere else. Yeosang, the boys and that rundown old shack in the middle of an old junkyard were an exciting new beginning to a life you only got a taste of. But now, you'd have to live with the bitter, bland and boring life that you had previously.

Becoming a news reporter wasn't your first option...

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ceaselesswatchersspecialboy · 5 days ago

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spent a good hour reading up on your Not What He Seems AU, it’s such a perfect mix of angst and whimsy! Ford waking up to find 30 years have passed in the blink of an eye is is the kind of body horror terrifying i eat up, as an avid enjoyer of time travel and its inherent tragedy.

i got a few questions, if you’ll indulge me:

- what kinds of tattoos you think Bill has gotten over the years? i think i saw some arm bands in one of your pieces, but i’d love to hear if you have any specific ideas for placements or images. if he’s doing it for the safe pain experience, i’d think there are some pretty big/detailed pieces involved? and do you think the pain helps ground him somewhat, to find and fit better in the boundaries of the body?

- in the show, Stan feels a lot of guilt for stealing his brother’s identity and he kinda thinks of himself as a fraud, an actor. do you think Bill ever feels guilty for the same? or would he just miss Ford a lot, without the Stan-specific aspect of pretending to be “the better one”?

also any fun tidbits you’ve been rotating in your head lately! it’s impressive how specifically it seems like you’ve thought out how Bill’s presence would affect the canon show events, while trying to keep them as unchanged as possible. also StanFraud is the funniest, most perfect thing I’ve ever heard!

Thank you!! I’ve always enjoyed writing horror based on human response, so Ford’s perspective is probably one of the most fascinating to me in this AU, although, all of it is fascinating and enjoyable to explore, really!

— I haven’t worked them all out yet, but I know for a fact he has a tattoo of the Cipher Wheel on his back, the arm bands as you mentioned, a hyper-realistic tattoo of his ribs where his ribs would be (if that makes sense), and eyes on the back of his hands. Honestly, I’d be open to suggestions for him! I imagine him having some more grotesque, detailed tattoos that reflect the nightmare realm as well. And yes, the pain definitely helps ground him. It also gives him a sense of control as well, in a situation where he has none.

— If he does feel guilty, it’s a complicated kind of guilt. I don’t even think he’d fully process that he’s feeling guilty. It’s this sort of gnawing feeling he can’t get rid of, and it starts the longer he gets to know Dipper and Mabel — he never really felt it before that. He absolutely misses Ford though. He can’t define that feeling either. I’ve said before that he looks at Dipper strangely, and that’s because Dipper reminds him of Ford in certain moments, eager for discovery!

He and Stan never really talk about it, but the have both acknowledged missing Ford before.

Bill’s response was vague though, not an ‘I miss him too’, but an ‘I think I do too.’ He isn’t sure what to make of that.

Bill Cipher doesn’t feel remorse, or miss people, he does everything with intention and he’s never made mistakes. Or, that’s what he’s meant to be. Maybe he has gone soft.

And Tidbits! I have a few! Not as many as usual, only because Arcane’s been taking up a bit of my brain space lately, but I hope these shall suffice anyhow:

(And quickly, thank you again, I think way too hard on all the small details and how Bill’s presence would have a knock on effect. It makes me happy to see it get noticed!)

— In the early days of Bill being trapped, Stan obviously doesn’t open the Mystery Shack, and ends up having to take a few odd jobs around town instead. He’s earned a bit of a reputation for being a decent handyman because of that, and even now, old timers of the town will still come to Stan if they need something fixing, especially cars. He complains about getting too old for it, but he never says no. Money is money! It’s also interesting to think about how the little things would impact his relationship with the townsfolk and how they view him. He’s always been Stanley to them. He’s never had to pretend otherwise.

— I’ve toyed around with making the Blind Eye a bigger threat than they are in canon, being as the kids would have no reason to look into Old Man McGucket. I’ve also toyed around with McGucket ending up slightly different to canon, his mind still broken, but his motivation different, with him being aware early on that the man he sees isn’t Ford, and is in fact the beast he fears and tried to erase from his mind. A more antagonistic Fiddleford who’s been trying to get rid of Bill for years now would actually be really fun? If I can make it work, and make the Blind Eye work in this way, I’ll lean into it! For now though, it’s just an idea I’m throwing around.

— Vague ‘episode’ idea that exists within my brain is Bill accidentally starting a mini cult again after telling some sort of lie that catches on, and it ends up being a Mabel-Bill bonding plot-line as she tries to convince him to just be honest before this whole cult thing gets taken too far. I also love the idea of Bill making a comment about this being like 1952 all over again. He makes comments like that all the time. Surely he’s just joking!

— Another vague ‘episode’ idea I have is Bill taking Dipper and Mabel to the supernatural underground market of Gravity Falls under Stan’s nose, trying to prove he’s the cooler Uncle, and that he can handle the two kids by himself. This goes about as well as you’d expect. Stan isn’t too happy to find out Bill got Dipper and Mabel in trouble, as he tried to get them to do more and more risky things.

— Bill will sometimes start speaking in Euclydian without realising, especially when it comes to cursing, and no one knows how he’s making those sounds with his mouth. Stan’s actually started picking up some of the meanings in context and can roughly gauge what Bill might be saying.

#gravity falls #gravity falls au #not who he seems au #bill cipher #stanley pines #dipper pines #mabel pines #fiddleford mcgucket

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hannie-dul-set · 5 months ago

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나비 / NABI announcement!

hey there, nabi enjoyers! due to the fact that the current word count for the fic has far exceeded my estimation (currently 35k, i'm projecting that the full fic will be 40k 😭😭) i will be unable to publish the entire fic in one post as a one-shot. tumblr has a paragraph/text block limit of 1,000 paragraphs/blocks and well.....nabi went over that HUAHAHSD tumblr hates me and my artistic vision. wbk.

anyhow!! that doesn't mean nabi won't be published at all! i will be dividing the entire fic into three parts, with the first one to be posted on july 15 (PhST). i'll gauge from there when the next parts will be released, but i hope to release all parts within july!!

the words counts wont be consistent, unfortunately. the first one is 9k, second part 12k, and the third part is currently going well over 12k HAHAHAH but i hope you'll all still enjoy the reading experience regardless!

if anyone still wants to be tagged, please let me know! thanks!!

#tink tonk tumblr ruining my plans yet again.#im posting it a day before my flight but fuck it we ball!! i've been dying to let this thing out of gdocs hell for so long!!!!

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soongtypehuman · 7 months ago

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Boo-hoo update

I’m sorry to say I have an update I was hoping to not ever have to make. Some of you already know that I have some serious health issues, but I've been pretty quiet about the extent of what I'm dealing with.

The gist of it is that I have a rare bone disease called fibrous dysplasia that turned certain bones in my skull into tumors and then those tumors grew inward and started crushing my brain, so I had a craniotomy last year to remove as much as was safe and got a cool new titanium implant in my head to replace the removed bone/tumor. The unfortunate result was encephalomalacia, which is the end stage of liquifying necrosis, and now part of my brain is liquid instead of solid (it’s dead, in a nutshell). Most people don’t survive encephalomalacia, much less remain able to function, and most who survive the initial stage don’t survive the three year mark. Even when you do survive it, it often continues spreading. The last MRI showed it had already taken over about 1/3 of my brain. But I’m a stubborn asshole and am still hanging on.

Unfortunately, things aren’t getting better.

I have to have constant MRIs, EEGs, physical and cognitive therapies, and have been on more meds than I’d like to be in order to control seizures and various cognitive issues. I didn’t mention this before, but I had to go through a series of speech therapies just to learn to talk properly again. And the most unfortunate part of this is that my ability to write has been affected. Since the surgery over a year ago, I’ve only made 10 new posts in the Positronic Rivalry series, totaling around 87k words. For reference, I posted over 200k words in 2022. I’ve posted even less this year, and it’s not improving.

With that said, I have to take a step back. I’m not quitting and I’m not walking away from the fandom. I’d like to think I’ll still be able to post here and there. I just don’t know when and under what circumstances that will happen. I most certainly can’t handle the longer multi-chapter fics I once could. Maybe one day, but not this day. Since I started posting on AO3 back at the end of 2021, I’ve posted every Sunday more often than not. I’m sorry to say I can’t make that happen right now, and can’t say when I’ll post again or what it will be. I won't be able to continue with season 4.

But I’m most definitely not leaving the fandom and the people and the characters I love so much. I’ll still be here interacting and posting when I’m able. This fandom and the people in it are incredible and mean a lot to me. Data and Lore and Star Trek in general are integral to my life and general enjoyment.

But!! I’ve nearly completed compiling seasons 1-3 of Positronic Rivalry as well as 2022/23 Kinktobers into files that will be ready to print in physical book format (completely free, obviously), which I’ll make available for everyone to download in various print sizes, complete with covers, which you can then have printed at various POD sites if you’re so inclined. Digital versions will also be available (you can already download various formats from AO3, but they’re not compiled into seasons, don’t have covers, etc.).

I’m also continuing with the Trek-themed crossword puzzles because those are fun and my therapist thinks making them is good for my cognitive rehab.

This update is a massive bummer for me, but I felt it was better to just admit my limitations instead of constantly trying to convince myself that I could continue the way I had been pre-surgery and beating myself up when I couldn’t.

Lastly, I’ve finally taken the suggestion I’ve gotten repeatedly and set up a KoFi. If you’d like to buy me a coffee or toss a coin to your android porn witcher, you can do so right here and I’d be giggling and kicking my feet in gratitude.

Anyhow, I want to thank all of you for being amazing and coming along on this ride with me for as long as you have, and for as long as it might continue in whatever form it takes.

#star trek #fanfic #fanfiction #star trek the next generation #star trek tng #data soong #commander data #lore soong #lore star trek #st tng #kofi

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komahinayaoii · 4 months ago

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Misunderstanding!

Holm Kranom x Gen!Neutral Reader CW: None, just straight fluff Although this fic in particular is completely sfw, my profile has nsfw content on it so minors pls dni! ♡

Summary: Holm gets distracted by you and Rin thinks you're evil

Author note: Hello! I haven't posted on here in so long omg lol. I don't really plan on posting as much on tumblr specifically, (I'm mainly on AO3 as patheticmenlover!) honestly I just wanted to share my Holm Kranom fic on here cuz he seems to get the most content on here AND because he doesn't have a lot of x reader fics. It SUCKS!! Anyways I hope yall like this I don't really like it as much but I wanted to feed my fellow Holm enjoyers even if its bad (≧ڡ≦*)

Rin just had a feeling you’d cause trouble for the party when you tagged along with them on the journey back to the surface. She couldn’t believe Kabru allowed Holm to heal AND let you tag along despite her concerns. You were a stranger.. for all they knew you could be an enemy.

The party had found you purely by accident, you passed out on the ground near the water on the 4th floor alongside your belongings, which happened to be a patchy bag and an axe...a dodgy looking one at that. They straight up thought you were dead until they caught a glimpse of your chest breathing up and down, you were just unconscious. You were real lucky that a kelpie or mermaid hadn’t found you before they did. How clumsy were you?

Of course, Holm did have the power to resurrect you if you did die but simply healing you made it easier. He quickly healed you and Kabru proceeded to ask If you were alright. You thankfully were alright and had explained that you were ambushed by a few other party members suddenly. You would’ve offered some of your food and even treasure, but it was unfortunately stolen. You knew you couldn’t continue further in the dungeon with NO food and a damaged axe, so you knew you had to go back to the surface to restock your items.

You tried to search inside your bag for something to offer them as thanks for healing you but Kabru quickly grabbed your hand, saying there was no need. That and it’s not like you had anything valuable…at least not anymore. You were certainly a strange one. Before you were about to leave on your own, Kabru asked if you wanted to tag along with the party since they were traveling back to the surface anyways. Just as Rin was about to protest, you quickly accepted it.

You thought to yourself, you might as well since they are going back up anyhow, if you happen to run into the same party members that attacked you and stole your stuff you have a high chance of getting it back.

Everyone within the party had no issue with this, if Kabru deemed you to be harmless then you should be, right? As creepy as it sounds, he was really good at reading people. To him, you were… harmless. He even doubts your axe would do much damage, seriously when was the last time you sharpened that thing?

Anyways, Kuro and Mickbell didn’t seem to mind your presence. Kuro sniffed you and the area to make sure you weren’t planning on ambushing them, which you weren’t! So, you’re alright in Mickbell and Kuro’s book…doesn’t mean they trust you though! ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)

Daya on the other hand was nice to you. Albeit, she did have her slight suspicions, but she didn’t express them in front of you. But then again, if Kabru trusted you then…surely it was worth it to believe your innocence. And as for Rin well, you already know. She’s keeping a close eye on you..! Anything shady coming from you and you’re going to go back to sleep.

Finally, as for Holm, he didn’t mind either..at all actually. It was to be expected from him because he was the calmest in the group but…something seemed off. When you happily pranced up to Holm, shaking his hand thanking him for healing you, he appeared to be bashful?! What was wrong with him.. was he alright?

His face was beet red, and he was stuttering like crazy. His normal half-lidded eyes were replaced with wide flustered eyes. Rin has never seen him like this before. What did you do to him?

You gently grasped Holm’s hands with yours while looking him I’m directly in the eyes, praising him sweetly for healing you. “Thank you so so much! I probably would’ve died if you hadn’t healed me!” You almost looked angelic, like a sweet soul but…Rin thinks otherwise. He looks up at you with a flushed face, continuously stumbling over his words. “Ah..It’s…it’s nothing…haha..really..!”

Rin glares suspiciously at you two as she gripped her staff. The hell were you planning? Kabru took notice of not only you and Holm, but also Rin. It didn’t need to take a genius to know Rin was annoyed. “Kabru..! Why would you let them tag along?..” She huffs. “They could be up to something you know.” Kabru just chuckles at this, to which she looks at him with confusion. “I don’t think so, they don’t look dangerous to me.”

His eyes travels back to you, happily conversing with a bashful gnome. “Besides…they seem occupied with someone.” Rin looks at the duo with Kabru. “You noticed them too?...Do you think something is wrong with Holm?” He smiles. “No, not at all.” Before she could oppose, he leaves. Despite Kabru’s lack of concern, she still chose to watch your every move. Especially after overhearing you asking Holm to stick beside him on the journey back to the surface.

You might have everyone fooled but you can’t fool Rin.

FOURTH FLOOR

After healing and allowing you to follow them, you and Kabru’s party began to continue the journey back to the surface, but not before going through a few ridiculous monster encounters. As you were conversing with Holm by your side, you two were passing by the rooms in the dungeon hall. A few were closed, some were opened. It’s smarter to simply not go inside either of them, after all you all are trying to get back to the surface and not get killed on the way back.

Unfortunately, Mickbell got a little too curious.

“Man..I remember almost getting killed by a mimic here. I hope it’s gone or somebody already got rid of it.” You say cautiously. Holm hums in acknowledgement. “I see..a mimic huh? Those are pretty scary.” You gently put your arm around his shoulder. “Don’t worry Holm, I got an axe with me. I’ll protect you If they try to come near you.” You joke.

His face flushes as he turns his head to the side and coughs into his hand. “O-oh?...ahah…mm..thank you..” You chuckle at his adorable reaction. Meanwhile..Mickbell and Kuro came across an open room with a single ‘treasure chest’. The duo not knowing that it was a mimic decided to go up to it. Mickbell hopped off Kuro and inspected the chest.

“I don’t remember seeing this when we came through here. Think there’s anything valuable in here?” Mickbell asks Kuro, to which he lowly growls at the box. Mickbell looks at him in confusion. “What is it Kuro..?” Before Kuro could answer…

*BOW*

A massive blue crab popped out of the front box, knocking back Mickbell and Kuro against the wall harshly, causing them to both groan in pain. “Ugh..what the..? Oh fuck!” Mickbell yells as the mimic began to quickly charge towards them. Kuro swiftly gradded Mickbell and began to sprint out of the room as fast as he could, but the mimic had no trouble following them at almost the same speed.

The duo (mostly Kuro) continuously ran up and down the halls hoping to tire it down but it didn’t seem to work, that mimic must be starving for roasted kobold with a side of mashed half-foot. “ARAUUGHH!! HELP US!” Mickbell screams as he held onto Kuro for dear life. “HOLM...Y/N!….UH?” He called out for you two, but you weren’t anywhere insight anymore. Where the hell did you two go?

Fortunately for them Kabru, Rin and Daya heard their cries for help and immediately came to their aid. Kabru and Daya quickly carried them both out of the way while Rin casted a spell to electrify the mimic, causing it to pass out. Kabru and Daya set down the panicked duo on the ground. “Holy fuck..!” Mickbell gasps.

“Are you alright?” Kabru asks. “Y-yeah..were-“

“Wait.” Rin interrupts. “Where’s Holm and Y/n?” They both shrug.

Meanwhile you and Holm further down, oblivious to the chaos happening down the hall:

“Treasure bugs huh?” He tilts his head. “I never knew those were even a thing…how interesting. I don’t think I’ve seen those before.”

“Yeah! It’s pretty cool huh? I’ve got a few fried ones in my bag actually..i’ll gladly share it with you.” You say as you start to dig inside your bag. “Ahah..that’s quite alright— wait did you say fried?” You nod. “I know it sounds odd but…!” You pull an insect coin from your bag. “Its tastyyy!~” You then held it up to Holm’s mouth.

“Come onnn!~ Try it! It’s yummy!” His face and ears flush from your closeness, then he quickly turns his head. Not only because of how close you were, but…you were trying to get him to eat a treasure bug. “N-no thank you!...I appreciate the offer but…It’s not my thing!”

You hum in acknowledgement. “No problem, more for me.” You pop the fried treasure bug in your mouth, happily eating it. Holm wasn’t sure what to think of you eating treasure bugs…you were a strange one indeed but that’s what made you unique in his eyes.

“You’re pretty strange.” He jokes. You let out a chuckle. “Is it because of the treasure bug thing?” He nods. “Yep.” You two then let out a series of laughing until you two hear fast foot steps coming your way, it was the rest of the group. Mickbell and Kuro specifically looked a little irritated and shaken up.

“HOLM! YLN!..WHAT THE HELL?” Rin yelled. “Where were you—”

“ME AND KURO ALMOST DIED TO A MIMIC WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU TWO? YOU WERE JUST NEAR US WHYD YOU LEAVE?!” Mickbell screamed. “You two were in trouble? I’m sorry!...we didn’t notice—”

“CLEARLY!” Mickbell interrupted Holm. “Sorry guys!” You sheepishly rub your neck. “If we heard you, we would’ve helped, I swear!”

“HOW DIDN’T YOU HEAR US WE WERE SCREAMING—”

“Mickbell, please.” Kabru sternly shushed him, causing him to huff. “Can I ask what you two were doing all the way back here?” He looks at the both of you. “We don’t need you two doing any funny stuff while were trying to get back to the surface!” Rin exclaims.

Holm immediately tensed up. “W-wait hold on! Don’t get the wrong idea please!” He held up his hand in defense. “We didn’t realize we had walked so far off…we’ll be more careful next time.” You voiced. “I’ll try not to steal him from you guys again.” You subtly flirt.

The party aside from Kabru didn’t seem to catch on, but Holm sure did.

His face immediately flushed again along with his ears. A batch of incomprehensible words spouted from his mouth as he grabbed his beret, covering his burning face with it. You snicker at his reaction, while Rin was seemingly eyeing your interaction.

“Wha..?” She mumbles to herself. What was going on with him?..you must have done something to him! She just knows it but..she can’t prove it. Not yet at least.

She scoots close to Kabru. “Kabru..are you seeing this? That isn’t normal behavior from Holm!” She muttered. “I know they did something to him..just give me the word and I’ll take care of it.” She grips her staff tightly in anticipation like she desperately wanted to hurt something.

“Don’t.” He responds casually.

“What?!..” She looks at him in surprise and confusion. “But…why not?”

A relaxed chuckle escaped his lips. “They are harmless, besides, we should keep going while were not being attacked.” Before she could oppose again, he began leading the way out. What is this? She thought. This was ridiculous, why was nobody seeing that you were clearly scheming something?!.. she’ll have to talk to Kabru properly about this when they get to the surface.

SECOND FLOOR

The second floor…surrounded by beautiful trees, flowers, and strange monsters…like the mandrake for example. As the party passed by the crowded plants they began to notice it started to cloud their vision of other members...specifically, you and Holm. If you weren’t there then this wouldn’t exactly be an issue, sure Holm tends to get easily overwhelmed and freeze up sometimes but he definitely can defend himself if absolutely necessary.

She dedicated herself to watching you two for any suspiciousness but she can’t do that if she can’t see either of you…! And speak of the devil, after checking on her other party member’s statuses, what do you know…you two were gone AGAIN!

So much for ‘trying not to steal him away from us’.

Meanwhile you and Holm…again:

“Wow, these trees are huge," you exclaim. "Are you just realizing that now? Haven't you been through this area before?" Holm asks, and you nod. "Well, yeah, but I never really stopped to take in the surroundings," you reply. You reach out and pluck a flower from a nearby tree, an angel's trumpet. "Now that I'm really paying attention, this place is full of beautiful flowers," you say, turning to him and leaning in close. He starts blushing at your proximity. You gently tuck the flower behind his ear, then step back to admire your handiwork.

"You look so cute!" You say cheerfully. Holm, on the other hand, can't seem to get a word out, his eyes fixed on the ground in embarrassment. "Th-thank you... I really appreciate it!" he stutters, his face turning even redder. So adorable..you thought. So adorable you just want to squish his cheeks but…you think he might not appreciate that. At least not right now.

“RAAAAH!”

A loud scream alarmed the both of you, causing you both to turn to where the noise came from, which was a hollow tree. “What was that?” You cautiously asked while observing the area carefully. “That..sounds like the scream of a!—”

“BAT!” You screamed, as soon as you did the big bat quickly flew near you two and attempted to attack. Instead of fighting, you chose to tackle Holm to the ground and into the bushes hoping to hide from it until it tires itself out. Thankfully after a few minutes of it flying around the area searching for you two, it flew to another place hoping to find other victims.

“Phew..that was close.” You say in relief. You then realized— you were still on top of Holm! Poor thing probably almost suffocated. “Ah! Sorry!” You quickly get off him. “I hope I didn’t tackle you too hard, my axe wouldn’t have done much damage to the bat especially since it’s already crappy.”

He didn’t respond. Instead, he just stared at you with a red face while still laying on the ground. You may want to give him a moment to collect himself.

*Back to Mickbell and Kuro*

A distant screech could be heard, causing Mickbell to hear it.

“Hey Kuro…did you hear that?” Kuro’s ears perk up, attempting to hear what Mickbell was.

Another screech could be heard, this one being a little louder.

“Yes!...it sounds..familiar.” Kuro mumbles. “Wait..that…sounds like…!” Before Mickbell could finish his sentence, the big bat made itself known and screamed at the duo.

“RAAAAH!”

“UWAAAAHH??!” Both individuals let out a loud exclamation of fear as they clung tightly to each other. During their panic, the bat swooped down swiftly, attempting to attack them multiple times but somehow they dogged each attack. Kuro swiftly lifted Mickbell and started running in the opposite direction, searching for a safe place to hide from the enormous bat.

“Mick, be careful—!” Kuro cautioned Mickbell as the bat descended closely behind them, almost managing to sever Kuro’s tail completely, leaving it barely attached to his back. A cry of pain escaped him before he collapsed to the ground and inside a bush with Mickbell in his grasp. “KUROO!” He shouted.

He positioned himself beneath Kuro, allowing the kobald to rest his head on his friend's lap. Mickbell stole a quick glance at his injury, relieved to see that his tail had not been completely torn off, indicating that it could be properly healed. The only thing they needed now was Holm. However, he would have to call out for him - surely he must be close by. It was a risky move, but Mickbell couldn't bear to see his friend in pain. He needed to act quickly and hope that they wouldn't end up as a meal for a passing bat.

"Holm...!" Mickbell shouted, but there was no response. The bat was now scanning the area from a distant tree branch. "HOLM...!" He raised his voice a bit more. This time, the bat pinpointed the source of the sound. This was not a good sign. "HOLM!!" Mickbell screamed, catching the bat's attention.

The bat began to fly directly towards them, its sharp claws and teeth poised for an attack. "AAAUHHH!!" Mickbell held onto Kuro's head tightly, bracing himself for the bat's claws to pierce his skin when suddenly—

*SLASH*

Kabru swiftly and decisively slashed the bat's throat before it could reach Mickbell. The bat struggled for a moment, choking on its own blood, before collapsing nearby. Kabru put away his sword and ran towards the duo alongside Daya and Rin. “Are you two alright?”

Mickbell angrily lamented, "Kuro’s tail is about to fall off! I called for Holm, but he's not even NEARBY! Where is he?!"

"They wandered off again? Are you kidding me?" Rin complained, "I'll find them, and when I do..."

“Don't worry, Rin. I've got this under control. Just focus on checking Kuro for any other injuries. I'll be back soon." With those words, he hurried off to locate you and Holm. It took a bit but in the end, he successfully found both of you.

Fortunately uninjured, but still... The two of you were unwinding on a picturesque bed of flowers, with him in particular reclining on your lap as you gently ran your fingers through his hair. How did it even come to this? Kabru pondered. Nevertheless... he thought it was cute, but Kuro needed his aid so, this can wait.

"You two were hiding here, then?" Kabru chuckled. You both gasped in shock because you hadn't even noticed him there. "Oh, I see. Hello, Kabru. "Didn't even notice you were here," you waved. You guys move so slowly, don't you?” You tease.

"Ah, Kabru!" Red in the face and ears, he raises his head off your lap. "Did something happen?"

Kabru nods. “Yes, actually. A big bat attacked Mickbell and Kuro, Kuro specifically. He needs his tail healed, if you aren’t too busy.” He teased, poking fun at him for resting on your lap, you didn’t seem to catch on but Holm caught it. He quickly got up and dusted his dark robe and swiftly put his beret back on. “N-no no! Of course not!” he stammered. “Please lead me to him!” Kabru then proceeded to lead Holm and you to Mickbell and Kuro’s aid.

You two were definitely going to get an earful from Mickbell….again.

SURFACE:

The party returned to the surface unscathed and undamaged after going through a lot of nonsense involving you and Holm. It's a miracle, really, because whenever you and Holm ventured off, bad things would happen, and Mickbell and Kuro were nearly always involved. Holm and you did take the time to apologize for any unintentional trouble you may have caused at the party. (poor guys).

They seemed forgiving enough but as for Mickbell…ehh not so much. Just be thankful he acknowledged your apology. As for Rin…she just stared at you two. She just knew in her gut that you had done something and that you were planning on killing them..! She just needed to say something. NOW.

She walks towards the two of you with an angry look, more so specifically towards you. “You!” She points at you. “What have you done?” She accuses. “Ever since you’ve tagged along our party nothing but bad things has happened. And as for Holm… why is it that every time were traveling you manage to get him alone? And he’s always red-faced! What is your deal?”

You look at her in surprise before laughing to yourself. Holm however he’s frozen in place, just as Rin said his face and ears were burning. “That’s not!—I’m…they’re..! Agh!..” He quickly snatched his beret and covered his face. “What?” Rin questions.

Kabru laughs to himself as he strolls next to Rin. Rin was confused as he leaned into her ear to clarify that you weren't evil and that Holm wasn't the problem; he was just obviously infatuated with you. She glanced at you, then back at Holm, and then gave herself a mental face palm.

How ridiculous..!

#delicious in dungeon #delicious in dungeon x reader #holm kranom #holm kranom x reader #fluff

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sundogsandrainbows · 19 days ago

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Hi, I'm sorry to write to you out of the blue, but Of Elves and Humans was the first DA longfic that got me hooked back in 2011 when I, as a dumb teen, happened to pick up DAO. Ever since then, the DA universe has been a constant fixation of mine and my admiration for you as a writer as well as someone who isn’t afraid to call out the franchise's flaws has never wavered. Now that Bioware decided to take a massive shit on everything pre-DAV and their oldest fans specifically, I'm really devastated and feel like a fool for having been so invested in DA and its lore for those past 13 years. It’s incredibly encouraging, however, to see you keep on keeping on. "So since they spat in my face like this I ignore this atrocity of a game even exists" is where I hope to be at soon, too. Thank you.

(First of all apologies for the late reply, I put it in my drafts when i was too tired to complete it, and then my adhd brain forgot it existed due to being distracted by new shinies 😂☠)

But aww omg i cannot believe i was the gateway drug into dragon age, or rather the old version of my story on FFN was. I am so very honored <3 And nonnie, I feel you. I am invested in DA as a series since DA:O's release in 2009, like I bought it on a whim for XBox because I liked Mass Effect 1 sm. So that is 15 yrs of my life i spent loving and discussing a thing while still being critical of the thing, but now i feel so very protective of the world, lore and its characters that "New Bioware" has decided to take a massive dump of shit on, and not only the games but the old fans I feel are treated with disdain too and do not matter to them any longer.

Long, subjective rant about current bioware aka the shambling corpse of its former self and talent incoming. Spoilers for Veilguard bc i don't give a fuck to avoid them :D You (general you, not you in particular dearest nonny <3) should use your time better than to play this shit anyhow 😂

It feels like calculated malice of new Bioware to apply the scorched earth tactics to offscreen destroy everything that old fans and fans of the other games in general held dear, and was supposed to suck out the enjoyment of DAO, DA2 and DAI. Like it is obvious they plan to create a sequel on DA's scorched bones, but jfc, you can do so story-wise without spitting everyone loving what old bioware has built in the face after dropkicking them. But to me that is part of the problem, since if i remember correctly and i wish i could find the bit... they praised Veilguard as "The best Dragon Age game ever", with the most interesting companions and best most improved combat system, comparing it to the other three games in a near smug fashion. There is marketing and there is putting the other games down to prop up your most favorite and only child mattering and they were definitely doing the latter. And don't get me started on the whole "Who is Zevran" debacle or we are gonna here all day.

Bottom line is new/current devs and writer do not give a shit about and very possibly have never played any other game than Inquisition, and you cannot tell me otherwise. And since a lot of devs/writer have left since the start of this project that would become this abysmal game, I also have the impression that there is a lot of underlying resentment toward what these former colleagues have created and so they piss on it in order to make it fully theirs now. Like dogs marking their territory, and well that did not work out, imo. At all.

Ever since they announced respecting our past choices by ignoring them (????) it was clear to me that I would not play Veilguard but just watch a playthrough and all spoilers and then move on. And everything i saw before release was shocking... like i was flabbergasted at how baaaad the dialogue was, which as a writer myself is super important to me in my story. There was no subtext, characters just blurt out everything they think and feel, like a lifeless doll you squeeze and words tumbling out and just as natural. It is stilted, awkward and 80% of it exists for info dump or info dumb rather as they keep repeating the same shit they just told you a few seconds ago as if you as the player are braindead. Here is a good example of what i mean.

Jfc, who edited this crap? There is so much superfluous dialogue that adds nothing to a scene but annoyance for the player and says nothing at all. Just pure senseless yapping in the most cringy way. Why was no one there to trim this nonsense as you should as a writer/editor? Hell, they really disregarded every simple and basic writing rule (everything is told never SHOWN for example especially in dialogue) which really made me question their competence in what they were doing and thus the quality of the upcoming game but i still held out hope for it to not be that bad.

Well shit, it was even worse. In all regards. Especially the writing that cringed this writer into a new dimension with its incoherent incompetence. Jfc. they got paid for that? I'm convinced the majority of fandom writer can do much better, even unpaid. Hell my cat just by walking over the keyboard can manage a better draft and script...💀

But I digress. That is a rant for another time. Point is, nonny, despite my defiant words, I struggled too for days after i got to know the full extent of Bioware's spiteful fuckery to even look at anything da related, in my case my Alistair/Mahariel longfic. I was really down for a few days, ngl. Then again, there is nothing better than spite fueling my creativity to prove "i can write better" soooo in the end and with the help of the much better first version of DA4 in the artbook, I was able to exorcise the demons and feverdream-mindfuck of mediocrity sold to me as a turd with gold-glitter that is this game.

I have successfully now rejected its existence, filled the void with the version that should have been from the artbook and vowed to give no fucks what bioware is doing or saying and infinitely more fucks when writing my own version of thedas and the version of DA4 that should be. REWRITES BBY hell yeah. So OEAH:R is just the beginning of a verse-wise rewrite. But if you need a pick me up, nonny, you are very much welcome to take a trip down memory lane to Dragon 9:30 and see how much this iteration of the story differs from my first one back in the days. Because in this house of mine, we grow and learn as writers, unlike bioware where writer ego reigns surpreme (oh boy and does it ever show in VG) aka eating their own turds and tell themselves it is the finest chocolate 💀

There is still a lot of good about DA out there, but we have to accept it does not come from Bioware any longer. Instead it came, comes and will come from the fans and creators of art and texts and words defying their bullshit with their love and respect for the world, its lore and characters. Also very unlike Bioware.

As we should <3

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the-thursday · 9 months ago

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Hello everyone, this post was long overdue, and finally, prompted by our beloved Howls also leaving, it's time for me to rip off the bandaid as well.

I would also like to announce a sort of departure from Ranger's apprentice fandom.

I do not know how many from RA fandom era from few years back are still here but I assume mostly newer blogs keep up with this account.

Take a lil history walk with me, if you will. I joined this fandom around 2017-18. I was very active around here, posting all kinds of stuff, fics, takes, incorrect quotes, art and whatnot. I made many friends with whom I had a great time and I am happy and honoured that I am friends with some of them till this day. Fandom became the second home to me as things hadn't been exactly easy irl and maybe I fixated on it too much, but gods know I loved this place so much. And I wish for everyone to experience this happiness and just as I made friends who became a significant part of my life, I wish that for you as well. Being surrounded by amazing and wonderful people and sharing similar interests is one of the most pure joyous feelings in this world.

As 2020-2021 rolled around, some of you know that things in my life picked up a harsh pace and I started to drift away. In 2021 I left the fandom because of that and unpleasant things with one of the people here. It was one of the most gut wrenching decisions I had made.

In 2022, I started gradually getting worse, but also had the courage to come back at the end of the year. I felt happy and welcomed and I am so grateful to everyone who made it happen, who supported me and gave me another breath. My mental health kept getting worse but I wasn't alone and that has been everything to me.

Now it's about a little more than a year since I've been back and again, I've met wonderful amazing people who I am happy and honoured to call friends. I don't regret coming back and I am happy I did, however I think it's time for me to go again. And below, I hope to explain why.

Like I said, I've been getting worse. Last autumn and this winter have been very difficult for me and I had to rethink some priorities, as life is going on the time left for me to invest in fandoms is getting thinner and thinner. Unfortunately, among them, isn't keeping up with this fandom. With my next words I hope not to insult anyone. The truth is, I don't find enjoyment in the fandom and content itself anymore, or more like, as much as I used to. I don't exactly vibe with posts for roughly the past half a year and I don't mean this in negative way, I just think it's for me to move on. All of the new people that I've seen have wonderful content and while I don't exactly vibe like I used to, I can see that you're having fun and that's important! People come and go and I do wish all the newcomers and seniors who are still here to have a great time, but I don't think I have energy, capacity and vibes to be part of it anymore. As you know, my blog has been very much inactive for a long time, aside from dumping my dumb sketches or reblogging something here and there. And rather than letting it rot, I'd like to cleanly move on. Anyhow, on self deprecating note, since really it's not like I've been someone prominent I don't think this is a loss to the fandom and this makes it easier for me.

So to summarise, my leaving is about personal things, my life moving and the fact I don't have the mental capacity or motivation to actively keep up.

So what does this mean? I won't be posting RA related stuff on this blog anymore. This blog will turn into a neutral main blog and I'll create one side blog for art that I hope to continue to make and maybe one blog dedicated to the work of Brandon Sanderson.

However, it doesn't mean that I am not up to goof around about RA anymore, however this will be done in DMs. If I sometimes get to draw and post RA related art, it shall be posted on my new art blog with RA tag. However, I don't think there's a high probability of public RA art from me anymore, because 1) need to move on and 2) I have a very strong and maybe confrontational opinion about art in this fandom that has given me a bad taste and discouraged me from enjoying making it and posting it. I won't go into details because I don't want to sour this post for myself and for y'all with it.

I want to thank this fandom for everything it has been for me and for everyone and I wish y'all some happy fandoming!

Yours only,

The Ranger Thursday 11

#rangers apprentice #final goodbye

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r0semaryt3a · 3 months ago

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Sk8 has to be one of my favourite shows ever just because it’s the only show where I genuinely like the entire named cast and enjoy seeing them on screen.

Reki: he’s a good protagonist and is easy to relate to through his struggles with perfection and inferiority. Watching him feels like I really am watching a teenage boy, struggling through school and social life, watch his newfound best friend slip away and his world seemingly fall apart. Sure there’s some hiccups and annoying bits of his writing but those all come together to make him an enjoyable character.

Langa: arguably wasted as a character a little bit and there isn’t too much I have to say. But! Still very enjoyable to watch, you see this boy who’d lost his father and moved from home find himself in a new sport with a new person. Ofc there’s the whole plot armour thing but I can very easily glaze over that.

Miya: ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS, too many people gloss over Miya when he is one of the best representations of an overachieving child I’ve ever seen (for the kind of show SK8 is anyhow). The way he acts, his responses, the way he presents himself to the world and how that changes when he becomes comfortable with the group. It’s all brilliant character writing and development. He’s a 13 year old boy who’s been shoved into a limelight and it’s clear to see that he doesn’t belong there.

Cherry: again arguably wasted potential by just how long they linger on certain things (and the fandom. I hate fandom cherry lore.) but he’s still human. He’s an intellectual man who runs off calculations and the second we see him drop those calculations in turn for chasing pure rage, rage that has been harboured for years? He gets knocked down. He fails time and time again and is shown to put up a front; again is shown to tear that front down when comfortable enough.

Joe: human. Joe is human. He cares and he isn’t afraid to show it. He acts boisterous and flirty but he does it with respect, he has boundaries that he tries his damned hardest to stick to; he hurts. Joe is one of my favourite depictions of hurt in sk8 because unlike everyone else it’s not laid out for us to plainly see, it’s subtle through his interactions and facial expressions and it’s gorgeous.

Adam: for all the shit the fandom gives him sk8 wouldn’t be sk8 without him and it’s never not enjoyable to me when I go and analyse his theatrics (as weird as they may be). A ton of people bitch about his backstory but I personally love the way it was done, it wasn’t shown to the characters as a cheap means of redemption (episode 12 I’m looking at you) it was an explanation to a character that at first just seemed like a 1D creep who was mildly flamboyant. It gave him depth. He’s certainly not the most deep character in sk8 but the switch from Ainosuke to Adam is such an interesting transition that I am eager to see more of in the OVA.

Tadashi: Similarly to Joe, Tadashi is a great example of hurt. Now, unlike Joe, he does have some of his pain laid out to us as the audience it still hits its mark and makes him one of my favourites in the cast. Tadashi is a perfect compliment to Adam that I yet again hope to see more of in the OVA

Shadow: do I wish he was more like a team rocket trope than a member of the main cast? Sure! But also Shadow works to subvert expectations as to where everyone else in the cast is slowly breaking mentally and the guy rocking up like a party clown is just fine and dandy (in the loosest sense of the word). Shadow almost compensating for how weak he thinks he is out of S by being “strong” in S is brill.

Oka and Kiriko: putting them together cause we don’t see much to them but I still want to talk about them. I like how sk8 doesn’t just revolve purely around S and all that jazz and though I do feel like pacing was whacked around a little these two characters are criminally underrated for how they contributed to scenes they were in.

I could go one for ages about families and all that but I’m leaving it here

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docholligay · 6 months ago

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What western novels do you recommend? I don’t think I’ve ever read one and was hoping to give it a try!

I LOVE Westerns. I love them even when they aren't particularly good. Whenever people accuse me of hating genre fiction, I'm like, "I think my collection of Westerns begs to differ. I just have DIFFERENT bad taste." (My collection of horror books too)

OKAY SO, MUCH OF THIS DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU'D LIKE TO FIND IN A WESTERN NOVEL.

Perhaps the best Western Novel ever written: Lovesome Dove, by Larry McMurtry.

It's not just me that would say this of Lonesome Dove, I think you can find this on lists of the world's greatest Westerns, it's fairly largely acknowledged as a great American Novel, many books have TRIED to be Lonesome Dove and are not. This book was one of the things Jill and I talked for HOURS about on our first date. We almost mutually changed our last names to McCrae instead of her taking Holligay. She walked down the aisle to the theme from the miniseries.

To MASSIVELY OVERSIMPLIFY, this is the story of a cattle drive from Texas to Montana. But it's about relationships, and dedication, and doing everything right and losing anyhow, sometimes. It's about finding connections. It's about dreams and failures. It contains one of the greatest versions of "the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one" in platonic form. Also the idea that a friend, who is never anything romantic, can be the love of your life.

A fun revival Western: The Shootist by Glendon Swartout

I actually just reread this! So in the 80s and 90s, Westerns became 'grittier' sort of like comic book movies did in the 00s. This is not an altogether bad thing, and it certainly wasn't all the way to 'gritty' until we get to, movie wise, things like 3:10 to Yuma, which actually is incredible. ANYWAY, so The Shootist breaks from a lot of the molds of 60 and 70s Westerns (upstanding law officer, gang of mustache twirling villains, etc) and is about the last great shootist--what a gunfighter would have been actually called in the 1800s--who is dying of cancer.

I know that does not make it sound fun, but it is, actually, and it is an easy read. Lots of fun Western colloquialisms and there IS depth there if you want to go looking for it, but it's totally extraneous to the enjoyment of the book and also might be half made up in my head.

A great classic Western: Riders of the Purple Sage by Zane Grey

Riders of the Purple Sage is actually responsible for helping form a lot of what we understand as being the Western genre today. This puppy has it all: Gunfights, cattle rustling, the moral code of one's own pride, falling in love with a lonely little woman hell bent to make it on her own.

There are so many things in this novel that will come to define the genre, but because it is a little pre-genre, at least in a strong and stratified way that separates itself from the dimestore novels, it's not as formulaic as you might expect and borrows heavily from early 1900s literature wrought large.

A WESTERN Western: Literally anything by Louis L'amour

Am I here to defend Louis L'amour? No I am not. Do I love Louis L'Amour? Yes absolutely. I am not even so much suggesting that you actually read a L'amour book because I think you really have to love the genre to get into them, but boy are they GENRE. Love them. There's like 5 or 6 plotlines between them. I read them in the tub all the time. I don't even count them toward my books read they are such popcorn. Delightful. I gave them away as favors at my wedding.

A modern Western: All The Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy

Now we're getting into the weeds a bit because there are some people who would argue that a lot of what modern Western literary fiction is, isn't really "Westerns" and I know what they're saying but I don't think I agree. There can be great novels of any genre that break genre, and I think this is just one of those. It has all the hallmarks of a Western.

Anyway, anyone who tells you The Road is Cormac McCarthy's best novel is out of their fucking minds and also probably very boring and controversially either doesn't read much or doesn't read much serious stuff. All of McCarthy's border novels are better than The Road, All the Pretty Horses just happens to be my favorite.

A Western that is probably more fairly slotted into Historical Fiction: Doc: A Novel, by Mary Doria Russell.

This book made me stop writing my Doc Holliday historical novel because I can't do a better job than this.

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bookshelf-dust · 2 years ago

Text

really know him

part i part ii part iii part iv

eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 2,906

warnings: swearing, feelings, feelings, and more feelings, hurt/comfort

a/n: hello! i've decided that there will be one more part after this one, and then that will conclude this little series. i hope that you've enjoyed it so far, and maybe even found some semblance of something in it. this version of eddie has been pretty enjoyable for me to write. let me know what you think of this part! i'd really appreciate it. love you! <3

update: this is how it ends. i couldn’t think of any other way to complete the series, and i feel like this is an alright ending for these two. i know that might seem disappointing, but sometimes you just have to move on. i hope you enjoyed this little series for what it was, mess and all.

————

You creep down the hall, hoping that neither of your parents will have heard the sound of your footsteps. It’s not until you’ve locked your door and taken your shoes off that you allow yourself to sit down. You’re not sure you’ve taken a proper breath since you started arguing with Eddie.

You can’t get the sound of his voice out of your head.

“Try what?”

“Letting me in, for fucks sake! I can’t fucking help you, if you won’t let me in!”

You fuss with the hem on the blanket covering your bed. Eddie is upset with you, and you don’t know what to do.

“Why won’t you let me in?”

But maybe you do. You have to let him in. You have to talk to him, tell him how you’re feeling, how scared you are of losing someone who makes you feel as safe and cared for as he does. You have to tell Eddie how you really feel—about school, about your homelife, about him.

“I want you, Y/N.”

You lay down on your back, legs hanging off the end of your mattress. You stare at the ceiling: every thought, every fear is choking you all at once.

Maybe you never should’ve made friends with Eddie. Maybe you never should’ve tried to get to know him. Really know him. Maybe it would have been easier if you’d just kept to yourself, done your schoolwork, suppressed your emotions like always.

But what if it isn’t supposed to be easy? What if it’s about damn time you got off your ass and fixed this? If it’s time you let someone in?

Do you really want to let this go? To not even find out what it might be like—loving Eddie Munson?

When the tears start, you don’t bother to wipe them away. You let them pool in the corners of your eyes and slip free, sliding down the sides of your face and over the bottoms of your ears. You let yourself cry because you know that there’s a part of you that wants Eddie too, that is upset for having shouted at him, for having not taken the opportunity to let him help.

You need to talk to him. You know that. And how is it fair if he’s let you really get to know him, but you haven’t let him really know you? He deserves better than that.

“I think maybe you should want someone who’s not so much trouble.”

Your stomach drops. You hadn’t meant to say that, but you did.

How could you know what he wants if you won’t talk to him? You know you were in the wrong for having said so. Maybe you were overwhelmed, but Eddie had laid all of his cards out for you, he’d shown you his damn hand, and you couldn’t even accept that.

He was honest with you, he said he wanted you, and you told him that was wrong. What right do you have to tell him that? How would you feel if he’d said the same? Like shit, that’s how.

You need to fix this.

And you know it’s going to hurt, that it’s going to be hard, that you’re going to have to spill your guts and show him how much he means to you. But that is what he deserves. He deserves to know that he is wanted, that someone appreciates him. Loves him.

And life hurts, doesn’t it? Shit is hard, but you do it anyhow. This is your life, and Eddie Munson is not worth losing.

————

“Y’know, staring at her window isn’t gonna do a thing, kid.”

Wayne sits down with a sigh. Eddie’s been outside on the porch, staring off into space for what Wayne is damn sure has been an unhealthy amount of time.

Eddie hadn’t slept much at all, drifting in and out of sleep throughout the night. He’d been awake to hear Wayne come home—something he’s usually totally knocked out for. He’d pulled himself out of bed then, wanting to see his uncle, wanting to tell him everything but worrying that he’d be too worn out to hear about it.

Instead, Wayne had made the two of them breakfast, and then they’d talked about it. Halfway through the meal, Eddie had realized that talking is exactly what he wanted to do with you. What he wants to do. He doesn’t know if you will ever talk to him. But maybe he shouldn’t think that way.

Wayne hadn’t been upset with him when he’d got a little teary over the prospect of you, of more than just a friendship with you. He’d just rubbed his shoulder and made sure Eddie ate, assuring him that the both of you would work it out, that he’d be here if Eddie needed him.

When he’d finished, Eddie had gone outside. Now he’s tempted to walk across the street, to tell you he feels like he can’t breathe being so frustrated with you. But there’s also a part of him that feels like that’s a bad idea, that thinks you’ll come to him when you’re ready.

Any part of him that was angry at you has dissipated, leaving only hurt and exasperation. He just wants to fix it. He hated seeing you so overwhelmed, hated hearing you shout at him, hated hearing you speak about yourself like that.

But he’d meant what he said. He does want you.

“Yeah, no shit,” Eddie says.

Wayne huffs a laugh, claps a hand against Eddie’s knee.

“You gonna go over there yourself? Or just wait for her to come to you?”

Eddie drags both hands down his face and slides further down the couch, his hair splaying out against the cushion behind him.

“I don’t know if I should go over there. It might piss her off or something. But this not talking shit, or at least knowing we’re not doing okay, is eating me alive.”

Wayne glances at him. “I can see that.”

Eddie scoffs, putting a hand to his heart. “Wow, thanks, Wayne. Very helpful.” His words are laced with sarcasm.

“Listen kid, the only way you’re going to figure this out is if you communicate with each other. You’re not gonna solve any problems sulking like this. She feels things differently than you do, and you’re just going to have to learn how to navigate it.”

Eddie knows it’s true. He’s gotten a lot more open as he’s grown, knowing he could talk to Wayne about whatever, whenever. He just needs to learn you like he’s learned himself. If you want, that is.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” Eddie stands. He pulls the door open, bending at the waist. He’s bowing. “Thank you, Wayne the Wise.”

————

You’re pacing your room. Sure, it’s only been a day or something, but you don’t like feeling like this. Feeling like something is wrong. Knowing that it is and you don’t exactly know how to repair things.

And that voice keeps telling you that you never should have made friends with Eddie in the first place. It won’t leave you alone.

Without thinking, you pick up the phone. The voice that answers is not the one you’d assumed would, but you can’t lie: you’re relieved.

“Wayne?”

“Hey, sweetie. Need somethin’?”

You choke up, and you can’t even explain why. You hope he doesn’t catch it.

“Uh, yeah. Is Eddie home?”

Wayne clears his throat. “No, hon’ I’m afraid not. He’s got Hellfire tonight. I’m about to head out for work.”

“Oh, okay. Do you know what time he’s usually finished, maybe?”

You can hear the smile in his voice when he responds. “‘Round ten, I think? He tries to be mindful that the kids might have to get rides home.”

“Thank you, Wayne. I appreciate that.”

“Mhm. Anytime, kiddo. You need anything else, you let me know, okay?”

“I will, promise.”

When he hangs up, you start shaking your hands out, trying to keep yourself stable. If you’re really going to do this, you need to calm down. You take a few breaths, in and out, in and out. If you don’t, you’re either going to cry or panic. There’s a marginal risk for both.

You snatch your keys up from where they were tossed on your desk, shove your feet into a pair of shoes, and make the short trip outside and to your car.

You start it and drive out of the trailer park. Your hands are shaking.

What if this doesn’t work out? What if you really, truly fucked up, and Eddie’s realized that you are too much trouble, that he doesn’t need you in his life? That he has other friends, better friends, and that there will always be someone better than you?

You’re sure he’d be fine without you. You’re not sure you can say the same.

It starts to rain.

When you pull into the Hawkins High parking lot, you run through the memory you have of its layout before you stop the car. You get as close to the exit nearest the drama room as you can, hoping you’ll be able to spot the group when they come out.

It’s pouring now, and you start to think that this really was a shitty idea. Eddie might not even want to see you. You shove that down because if you keep thinking that way you’re going to make yourself sick.

You have to look out of the passenger side window to see the door. It’s raining too hard to see much else, though every once in a while there’s a crack of lightning that illuminates the entire school for you.

You’re just about to wonder if you’ve missed them, or if it’s running later than usual, when the doors fly open and kids flood out, hoods pulled over their heads as they run to the cars you watched pull up. Only one of them has an umbrella, a boy with curly hair, and he holds it above his and two other boys’ heads.

You get increasingly nervous, watching the group of people. People you realize are Eddie’s friends, all in their matching t-shirts. Only when the cars start to leave, when most of the students are gone, do you see a familiar face.

Eddie. He stands underneath the oning, hands fishing around in his pockets for keys while he glances up at the storm. He has a bag slung over his shoulder, and you can see him contemplating his best move. This is your chance.

You push the car door open and rush out. The slam it makes as it closes catches Eddie’s attention. He looks in your direction, brows raising in surprise.

“Eddie!”

He realizes you’re getting soaked and rushes to meet you halfway. You’re insane, and he’s not mad about it.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, yelling over the rain, bangs starting to stick to his forehead.

“I wanted to see you. I wanted to talk to you. I didn’t know it was going to rain.”

Eddie laughs then. Full on. He tosses his head back and clutches his chest. “I didn’t know it was going to either.”

You frown at him. “Eddie, I’m so sorry.”

Oh shit, he thinks. You want to talk to him. He locks eyes with you.

“I’m not good with this, with being open, and I don’t know how to do it. And you want me to, but I guess I need you to help me.” You drag your hands across your face, pushing water from your eyelashes.

“I want your help, Eddie. I want you.”

Eddie coughs, and you can’t tell if it’s the rain or not. Really it’s because he can’t believe you just said that.

“What?” he exclaims, yelling over the rush of rain and wind.

“You didn’t hear me?” You’re slightly confused.

“Oh, I heard you.” Eddie takes a step toward you. He’s inches from you now. “I need you to say it again.”

You look at him, his cheeks flushed pink, his hair matted down and sticking to everything. You’re worried he’s got paper in that bag and it’s going to get ruined. His shirt is wet enough now that you can see his necklace underneath, the outline of his chest.

You reach forward and push his bangs out of his eyes.

“I want you too, Eddie. I just need help.”

Before you can even comprehend it, Eddie’s hands are on the side of your neck and pushing into your hair. He’s never looked as serious as he does now; his brow furrowed, completely and utterly concentrated on you. For a second you feel like you’re the only person in the world. And you have Eddie Munson’s attention.

He kisses you. It’s soft at first, curious, but still full of meaning. His mouth is warm and soft against yours. Only when you kiss back does he get a little firmer, a little more insistent.

You’re both totally wet now, the rain having soaked through every inch of clothing. You’re sure you’ll feel absolutely miserable after being in this weather. But you don’t care. Not when he’s kissing you like he is.

Your hands find his collarbones, fingers trailing up and into his hair. When you realize how difficult that is to accomplish, you remember it’s fucking raining. You pull away.

Eddie groans like he can’t believe you’d deprive him of that.

“I’m really fucking sorry, Eddie.”

“I know, sweetheart.” His hands haven’t left your face. His thumbs are stroking your cheeks. “And I’m sorry for yelling at you like I did. I just got frustrated, and—”

“And I need to let you in. I know. I want to.”

Eddie presses a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll be patient. I want to help.”

“I know, Eddie. I want to try.”

He smiles brilliantly at you, the kind that starts slow and expands enough to light up his eyes, make you feel like you’re in on some big, beautiful secret.

“Let’s go home, yeah?”

————

You drive home separately to get changed, but as soon as you’re dry, you slip into pajamas and right back at the door.

You run across the sandy road with a little overnight bag in your hand, and Eddie had clearly been waiting for you because he stands with the door open, laughing at your insistence on getting there quickly.

When he shuts it behind you, he’s still giggling. You smack the back of your hand lightly against his stomach.

“Nice pj’s, Munson.”

He grins. “Thank you.” Eddie’s got on a shirt that has a concerning amount of holes in it, and Garfield pajama pants. “I could say the same to you.”

Your pajamas are about the same level of ratty that his are. You stick your tongue out at him, but he only smiles. He’s happy that you’re here.

It’s late. “You wanna go to bed?” Eddie asks, leaning forward.

“Yes, please.”

“Good. C’mon.” He turns around and you hook your fingers in the waistband of his pants. He turns around to look, but only laughs and keeps walking.

The carpeted in the hallway is soft on your feet, worn in, but comforting nonetheless. Eddie shuts his door behind you and takes your bag from you, setting it on the floor beside his bed.

You sit down on the edge, suddenly feeling very uneasy.

“What’s the matter?” Eddie’s looking down at you, his hands tying his hair up into a loose bun at the base of his neck.

“I just—do we have to talk about all my feelings tonight?”

He smiles at you. “No, baby. We can do that tomorrow. Take it one step at a time, right? We’ll work through it together, yeah?”

You nod at him. “Okay.”

“Now, lay down for me, okay?”

You feel yourself warm up, but you do as he says. His sheets are cool under your legs, his pillows surprisingly soft.

Eddie gets in after you, but doesn’t slide down into bed yet.

“Listen, I think we need to snuggle, alright?” You snort, but he keeps going, fighting a laugh of his own. “Do you want to be the little spoon? Or can I? Or do you want to do something else?”

You start to smile at him, a slow, Cheshire cat grin.

“You wanna be the little spoon? Please?”

Eddie chuckles, and it’s the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard. “Hell yeah I do.”

He flips onto his side, back facing you. You scoot over and tuck yourself against him, slinging your arm around his side and over his stomach. He’s smiling, utterly content.

You slip your hand under his shirt so that it rests against the soft of his belly. You giggle into his back, clearly pleased with yourself, and Eddie raises his head.

“Happy?”

“Very much so.”

He pushes up onto his elbow. “Kiss?”

“Sure.”

You plant one on him. And another. He smiles into the third.

“That good?” You ask.

“Spectacular.”

You both settle in, and you find yourself burying your face in between his shoulder blades. You find it to be extremely comfortable. Eddie smiles to himself at your eagerness.

At some point, Eddie grabs hold of your hand where it lays on his tummy, and you throw your leg over his hip. He doesn’t mind.

He’s never felt safer.

You’ve never felt more reassured, like you’re safe to let him in. And you know he won’t push you away.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

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